Nintendo Announces New Hardware: a $100 Alarm Clock

Nintendo has a new piece of game hardware coming in 2024. It's not the Switch 2, it's the Nintendo Sound Clock: Alarmo, a new motion-sensing alarm clock that will rouse you from sleep with the sounds of video games like Super Mario Odyssey, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, and more. Polygon adds: The $99.99 alarm clock includes 35 wake-up "scenes" from Nintendo Switch games. Users will "experience immersive sounds and music" from those scenes, which are styled to match Nintendo's franchises. Alarmo will also track users' sleep and motion; Records will keep track of how much you move around, similar to the Pokemon Go Plus Plus sleep tracker that Nintendo released for Pokemon Go/Pokemon Sleep (and the long-promised, but seemingly abandoned QOL project).

Nintendo Sound Clock: Alarmo will feature various alarm settings, Nintendo said in a news release. The clock's Steady Mode features an alarm that will gradually get more intense the longer you stay in bed. Gentle Mode offers "a more consistent intensity level." And Button Mode is a classic snooze button mode, where you've gotta smack Alarmo to shut it up. Nintendo's new interactive, motion-sensing alarm clock also features "sleepy sounds" -- soothing music that will hopefully lull you to sleep at night.

Seriously?

[GruntboyX]

Waitâ¦. Nope itâ(TM)s not April 1stâ¦

But...

[Rinnon]

... why?

Re:

[avandesande]

“You can take and nail two sticks together like they've never been nailed together before and some fool will buy it.”
George Carlin

Re:

[Busman85]

YES! Just think of how many crosses are sold!

Re:

[narcc]

Jokes are so much funnier when someone explains them. You must be smart and cool. We're lucky you're here.

Re:

[fahrbot-bot]

Okay, you can climb down off your two sticks nailed together now. :-)

Re:

[Marxist Hacker 42]

The only why is the price. With today's hardware, this is about $15 worth of parts.

Re:

[avandesande]

If you add labor and packaging it's up to 30$. 3xcost is typical retail pricing.

Re:

[nugatory78]

and you can already get one on eBay for only $299!!!!

Looks like TT from Diddy Kong Racing.

[xack]

Still waiting for another DKR sequel.

Re:

[Rinnon]

Yeah, I'd play that. DKR was easily the best kart racer of its time. The closest thing we ever got to something like it was Sonic and All Stars Racing Transformed (which was pretty damn good).

We need ...

[PPH]

"Mooo! Mooo!" It's time to get up and milk the cows.

It could work

[Calydor]

Hey! LISTEN! HEY! HEY! HEEEEYYYYYY LIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSTEEEEEEENNNNNNN!

And I should probably write something not in caps here to get around the spam filter.

Re:

[GoTeam]

Hey! LISTEN! HEY! HEY! HEEEEYYYYYY LIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSTEEEEEEENNNNNNN!

And I should probably write something not in caps here to get around the spam filter.

lol, that's right there with "Master, the batteries in your Wii Remote are nearly depleted".

But no Modding

[packrat0x]

It will have DRM and Nintendo will sue you if you (help others) try to mod it.

AC Adapter required, sold separately!

[Fly Swatter]

From the nintendo support page for alarmo: An AC adapter is not included in the box, but is required to use Alarmo.

That's just stupid, let me just find my bed's USB-C port.

I was only looking because it said a switch account was required, it apparently has WiFi... So it is or is it not connected to the internet data mining your children? - this world -

eu fine coming in!

[Joe_Dragon]

eu fine coming in!

Re:

[J-1000]

So it is or is it not connected to the internet data mining your children?

While I wouldn't rule that out, the WiFi is pretty important because they intend to have new downloadable themes, and themes are kind of the point of this clock.

I'd say it's not mining their data any more than, for instance, using a Switch Online account.

Re:

[thegarbz]

That's just stupid, let me just find my bed's USB-C port.

Your bed doesn't have a USB-C port? How do you charge your phone at night? I'm not even joking here, one of the basic things I did in my old house was buy a bedside lamp with built in USB charger, and one of the things we did when we bought our current house was install two power outlets next to each side of the bed with USB-C ports. Our kitchen also has USB-C ports.

It's 2024, time to modernise your living space. 110/220V is so 20th century.

Re:

[Fly Swatter]

It's across the room on a corner desk and using the charger that came in the box with the phone. Unlike most I am not a slave to the smart phone.

I guess if I ever replace the alarm clock it will probably have a usb port just because that is apparently a necessary thing to have now. I like my lamps and didn't buy junk for those and would not want to replace a lamp just to get a usb port.

Having children will apparently cancel all those freedoms out, then it's USB and screens everywhere!

Cool!

[jenningsthecat]

Now Nintendo will have users paying them even more money so the company can collect even more personal data. Not to mention that users will also effectively be paying to be advertised to. Genius - a win-win situation if ever I saw one. /sarc

Any bets on how long it will take them to start correlating gaming data with sleep data and 'massaging' the results? Then they could demonstrate that gaming is good for health, and/or prepare a defense against potential claims that gaming, like social media, is bad for health.

Who is this for?

[KmN]

I still use a separate alarm clock to keep my phone out of my bedroom, and have generally positive feelings about nintendo so I was actually interested in this based on the headline. But $100? For music from that selection of games? And motion tracking? This is so bizarre. Maybe I'll grab one in the fire sale.

disappointing

[alexmogil]

nintendo has gone wake

Re:

[GoTeam]

nintendo has gone wake

Does that mean they'll go break?

Alarmo 4000

[jacks smirking reven]

Um... Okay, how about this: Adam Sandler is like in love with some girl. But it turns out that the girl is actually a golden retriever or something. [youtube.com]

Tick tock / and you MUST stop

[Pseudonymous Powers]

ME: The product should be usable.

MANAGEMENT: No.

ME: The product should use technology from this century.

MANAGEMENT: Only in addition to the existing QuickBasic components.

ME: The product should work.

MANAGEMENT: Who has the time?

SOME DUDE AT NINTENDO: Though we are not a clock company, and although all the clock companies went out of business twenty years ago, our next product should be an alarm clock with a feature set so underwhelming that it could have just as easily been made in the 1970's.

MANAGEMENT: O

Game and Watch

[omnichad]

What, no games? They used to have a clock and game in one unit for under $30.

Bizarre Japanese stuff

[Valgrus Thunderaxe]

And they'll sell a brazillion of them.

I'm good

[Hoi Polloi]

I have had the same led radio/alarm clock for about 25 yrs now.

Re:

[avandesande]

I haven't had a clock in my bedroom since I got a cell phone.

I can't wait for the $1000 Apple iClock

[zephvark]

If we're really lucky, the iClock will allow us to play our own 45s! Or simulated 45s using Apple iRecords.

Dude

[sfernald]

They are goon be able to print money from this thing

Re: Dude

[sfernald]

I want Nintendo to invent a car or other vehicle that is just as fun to drive as possible. Nothing else just focus on what you do well Nintendo.

Game & Watch

[elcor]

They did it in the 80s, it was succesfull.

Need to ...

[PPH]

... make an alarm clock that emulates my cat. When it's breakfast time, it lies on my face while I'm asleep.

Nice frills. How does it handle the basics?

[erice]

• Does it keep good time? It is depressing the number of alarm clocks that drift several minutes over the course of a year.
• Does it have tactical controls that can be operated in the dark by a person who isn't fully awake? This is half of why cell phones suck as alarm clocks
• Is the time visible in the dark without flooding the room with backlight? This is the other half of why most cell phones suck as alarm clocks. (OLED phones could do this in principle)
• Does it support multiple alarms and/or can the wake tim

Re:

[Woeful Countenance]

Does it have tactical controls that can be operated in the dark by a person who isn't fully awake?

I assume you meant "tactile", though "tactical" is a common marketing term in some circles [amazon.com]. Tactile controls would be good.

Next steps...

[W1ndRider]

Nintendo next steps:

1. Patent alarm clock
2. Send C&D letters left and right
3. Become THE ALARM CLOCK ...

Missed opportunity to "innovate"

[devloop]

It should have been a Nintendo AI alarm clock that uses an LM to select from a variety of classic Nintendo sountracks to rouse you from your sleep.

jump the

[Xteve]

Shark! Shark! included? /s

So Nintendo...

[null etc.]

This is such a Nintendo product. Even the announcement trailer, with the voice-over proclaiming, "Oh, do you hear that? The alarm is going off!"

If... you have to tell us that the alarm on an alarm clock is going off, either your product has failed, or your marketing has failed.

It's pretty typical for Nintendo, which has erased any hint of discovery and excitement from their products, replacing them with giant, flashing arrows that explicitly tell the player, "Hey, you can put a bomb right here, maybe it w

Who wouldn't want that?

[Woeful Countenance]

Reminds me of an exchange from the podcast "On the Media", between host Brooke Gladstone and Joel Warner, author of The Humor Code: A Global Search for What Makes Things Funny. They were discussing a $700,000 government-funded project to create a computer program that could generate jokes (Robot Humor [wnycstudios.org])

WARNER: ... who wouldn't want a GPS device that, after you ignore it for the 20th time, it somehow sarcastically rolled its eyes at you?

BROOKE: [LAUGHS] I would say almost everybody wouldn't want that.

And, of course, the classic Clocky [clocky.com]. I wonder how long these last before somebody destroys them?