FortKnox's Journal: Let The Slashdot Photo Contest Begin!

Any major website: (ie - slashdot/fark/memepool/etc...) Please don't link to this. My server is set up on my local cablemodem, and you would annihilate me. If someone wants to post a mirror and use that, fine, just don't hammer my site, please.

OK, so we have 44 contestants involved. All are slashdotters (the list is my next JE). Have fun attempting to figure out who is who based on their pictures.
The front page (with every pic thumbnailed) is http://www.marotti.com/slashdot/index.html.

Update: I am no longer accepting pictures. What you see is what you get.

Picture 001

[FortKnox]

Small pic, blonde, and a small pic [marotti.com] (hey, not everyone has access to a digital/web cam, nor do they have a lot of pics to go through) ;-)

Who could this be?

THIS IS NOT A VOTE... or a "threat" but a questio

[heliocentric]

Do not START a threat[sic]. I will start a thread for each picture that links to the appropriate picture. Your guesses belong as a reply to that parent message for that particular picture (I was gonna post as an AC, but I didn't wanna have to deal with the goatse fake links and such).

Are we also in our non-threads to vote for who we think is the hottest/sexiest/whatever guy and girl?

Re:THIS IS NOT A VOTE... or a "threat" but a quest

[FortKnox]

sure, just don't use a karma bonus (so if you do "highest score first", it'll show all the pics up front). I'll add it to the journal description.

Re:THIS IS NOT A VOTE... or a "threat" but a quest

[heliocentric]

If you're fixing things, also fix that "don't start a threat" where I think you meant "thread."

Re:Picture 001

[Servo]

Funny you should mention age. She looks like a "young" version of my aunt Debi out in Colorado. :)

Pic 002

[FortKnox]

Some users give away their ethnic background in their alias, or what their JEs say [marotti.com]. But that doesn't mean someone you "thought" was your average white american is something else, right?

Re:Pic 002

[Servo]

I think I'm going to say CyranoVR here.

Re:Pic 002

[intermodal]

well, Eugene is Canadian according to is bio, and FK said american...but he could just be throwing us off.

Re:Pic 002

[intermodal]

goood point. i'll also go with Eugene.

Re:Pic 002

[banky]

Have you ever seen Wanda Sykes standup bit, where she talks about the difference between 'African American' and 'Black'? It goes along the lines of, "I'm so glad I can get a home loan now that I'm African American and not black".

It's longer (and funnier) than that but it mirrors your sentiments.

Re:Pic 002

[Some Woman]

Because somebody, somewhere will be offended.

I now call the people whose ancestors lived on this continent before my ancestors American Indians, even though they are not from India, because it was explained to me at great length that the words aboriginal, indigenous, and native are all deeply offensive.

Perhaps it's best to just give up on trying to not offend people. I'm going to start refering to people using Pantone codes.

Re:Pic 002

[intermodal]

This may offend you, and if it does, I am sorry, but I feel I ought to add something told to me by a black guy and an American Indian once told me (in that order) as close to verbatim as I can.

From the black guy: "Call me black. The only people that care about politically correct terms are Feminists, and I'm not even a woman. I have never been to Africa, nor do I care to. My family's been here for hundreds of years, so for ethnicity, black, and nationality, American."

From the American Indian: "Person

Re:+1 Insightful

[intermodal]

On a similar note, I recall a man who was born and raised in Egypt with two british parents, who came to the states and applied for an "African-American" scholarship. They rejected him, and he sued and won. Apparently the judge even stated that if they wanted to have a black american scholarship, that was their right, but that the Egyptian man of british descent was more African-American than anyone involved with the scholarship themselves and was entitled under the rules of the scholarship to recieve the

Pic 003

[FortKnox]

She seems happy, but distracted [marotti.com]. Is that a hint? Or am I bad at figuring out what to say for a link?

Re:Pic 003

[banky]

Some Woman? Eyes are the same from her "tshirt ninja" pic of some time ago.

No, I'm not a stalker.

Re:Pic 003

[mekkab]

oh yeah?
well I'm FIVE nines (99.999%) sure of it!

And its got nothing to do with the pic on her website... nothing at all ;)

Re:Pic 003

[leviramsey]

I'm guessing that it's Some Woman... just a hunch.

Pic 004

[FortKnox]

Yes, its true, the legendary Dr. Seuss [marotti.com] reads my journal from beyond the grave (cat in the hat? Get it? eh, nevermind)...

Re:Pic 004

[banky]

Freakish similarity, but it's not me. I was too distracted with real life to take my pic down.

Pic 005

[FortKnox]

Did you know that canabalism starts by licking people [marotti.com]? Sure, they thinks its sexy at first, right Hannibal?

Re:Pic 005

[Some Woman]

Hmm.. Unless the picture is older, it couldn't be Dayton because he claims to still have a few pounds to lose, and this person doesn't.

However, red5 seems like the type to lick somebody.

Pic 006 (Series of 4)

[FortKnox]

(oh god, the 2 minute wait between posts is KILLING ME!)

So, how does one go from an innocent child [marotti.com] to a crazy teenager with a knife [marotti.com] to a cannable [marotti.com] (what IS it with licking people... seriously!), to a stylish adult in a cool B&W pic [marotti.com]? Guess he got away with all his crimes ;-)

Re:Pic 006 (Series of 4)

[banky]

Floam Floam Floam Floam

Re:Pic 006 (Series of 4)

[FortKnox]

I thought you gave them to me out of order. Bah, sorry censored, I'd put them in order, but it'd mess up the linking.

Pic 007

[FortKnox]

Have I told you about the story about how I am opening up all these submitted pictures, when I come across this one [marotti.com]. My wife yells "Josh! Why are girls emailing you with their pictures?" Guess this pic is a threat to my marriage? ;-)

(BTW - I -did- explain everything to her, including the journal, and she totally fell for i...er... she's cool with it). ;-)

Re:Pic 007

[banky]

Whomever this is, PLEASE MARRY ME.

(it won't let me post 3 words in all caps? Stupid slashdot, always interferring with my random marriage proposals.)

Re:Pic 007

[Randolpho]

I'm already married, but perhaps I can talk my wife into polygamy? :D

Re:Pic 007

[Some Woman]

LadyGuardian said that she wears a D cup. Those are not D-sized breasts. It could be the angle, but I'm going for no on this one.

Re:Pic 007

[intermodal]

but perhaps its not a new picture...she said till she was 17 she was a B-cup. But the hair seems off for the picture she posted recently...seems short before the ears to be her.

Pic 008

[FortKnox]

I can't think of anything to put here [marotti.com]. Nothing to make fun of or anything. Someone help me here...

Re:Pic 008

[heliocentric]

My vote: a young Ray Romano [imdb.com]... that good enough poking fun for you, FK?

Oh, and the light on the wet lips look like fangs.

Re:Pic 008

[FortKnox]

Good one! ;-)

Re:Pic 008

[intermodal]

Seems logical to me. but you never know...somtimes its the easiest to find something crazy and cryptic about oneself.

Re:

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:Pic 008

[intermodal]

well, i think we are supposedly getting one later (like when the weekend ends and he stops accepting submissions)

Re:Pic 008

[Some Woman]

FK seems like the type who would involve his wife and ask her to take a picture of him. This person clearly took his own picture. I agree with people who say that FK is the "glamour shot."

Only 2206 more comments before we break into the hof. :)

Pic 009

[FortKnox]

Ah, the rugged white north [marotti.com]. Canada, right? Maybe, maybe not (and even if it was, it could just be a vacation, right?)

Re:

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Pic 010

[FortKnox]

Ever felt like you are living life sideways [marotti.com]? (sorry, I don't do image modifying, go drink a V8 or something) ;-)

If someone wants to rotate the pic, we can set the new pic in instead.

Re:Pic 010

[FortKnox]

This picture has been fixed (straightened)

Pic 011

[FortKnox]

I wonder if this was taken at Christmas [marotti.com]? That, or else you really need to take that tree down, man! Its MAY! ;-)

Pic 012

[FortKnox]

A bearded geek [marotti.com]. How many geeks wear facial hair (hint: a bunch)

Pic 013

[FortKnox]

Remind me not to get into a fight with this dude [marotti.com]. He's big, and knows the martial arts.

Re:Pic 013

[glh]

He looks like a marine! I'm guessing Xerithane on this one.

Re:Pic 013

[Some Woman]

That's my guess as well. I can't think of why anybody else would have such a picture, not that there's a logic to the photos. :)

Pic 014

[FortKnox]

Camera tip #428: If you place the camera on your chest and take a picture of your face, you'll look like a giant [marotti.com]!! ;-)

Pic 015

[FortKnox]

Great, a pyro [marotti.com]. Dude, put...the lighter... DOWN! ;-)

Picture 016

[FortKnox]

When I first looked at this picture [marotti.com] I thought "that looks like a guy hiding out from the cops, with all the lights out, looking out the window.

And it still looks like that to me... ;-)

gets my vote

[mekkab]

for most likely to kill us all with fire and rotating blades.

Especially the rotating blades part.

Re:Picture 016

[Some Woman]

Can't be Com2Kid. I think he is at least partially African American. There's no way he has eyes that blue or hair that reddish.

Re:Picture 016

[Servo]

I actually knew a "family" that was mixed. The mother was white, father was black. The girl looked totally asian (she lived in Hawaii at one point, and everybody thought she was a "native"), and her two brothers were "very black" except for long wavy red hair.

Re:Picture 016

[Some Woman]

Wow. There's a case of the recessive genes winning out if I've ever heard one.

But, Com2Kid has said things that suggest that the thick dark hair won out over whatever it was up against. (Okay, now I'm picturing a gene pool death match in the uterus. Fox is probably going to pick it up any day now.)

He also had some pictures up, but his hosting people no longer allow direct linking to pictures, so I can't prove that I know what I'm talking about. But I do. I promise.

Pic 017

[FortKnox]

Bonus points if you can guess what is on his computer screen [marotti.com] through the reflection on his glasses! ;-)

Re:Pic 017

[mekkab]

Thank god you cleaned it up! All I saw in his glasses before was a black screen and some blue-ish purplish lines- I thought glTron (which is DOPE!) but its a little too purple to be the blue lightcycle.

Re:Pic 017

[FortKnox]

try here [the-underdogs.org] (I'm checking to see if its the full game or just a demo). If not, I'll make an image of the cd, and put it on my server for you. Just find the burn method needed to avoid the copy protection.

Pic 018

[FortKnox]

Some geek went to "Glamor Shots" [marotti.com] to (try to) look sexy for this contest. ;-P

Re:Pic 018

[glh]

Hehehe

Re:Pic 018

[glh]

Hard one, who among us is so fashion conscious? I'm going to have to guess kormoc.

Pic 019

[FortKnox]

Enthusiasm... optional [marotti.com] ;-)

Re:Pic 019

[glh]

this is really cracking me up for some reason.. honestly, no clue on this one

Re:

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Pic 020 (series of three)

[FortKnox]

Looks like he went to France [marotti.com] (did you see any military museums there?), and two [marotti.com] pics [marotti.com] with the significant other. Must be proud of her ;-)

Re:Pic 020 (series of three)

[heliocentric]

The pic with them up high overlookin a sky line... I swear I have a picture of this girl I went to high school with posing just like that at the top of the WTC... thus, I'm placing a guess that the female based creature is: Elizabeth "Liz" Reese. Ok, yeah, it's pushing it...

Re:Pic 020 (series of three)

[glh]

Hmmn, I'm going to go with DaytonCIM on this one.

Re:Pic 020 (series of three)

[intermodal]

stuck between two guesses here...gonna venture a guess and say Jawtheshark due to his relative location to France and the T-shirt with the location of Spirit00.

Re:Pic 020 (series of three)

[Some Woman]

jawtheshark is blond, though. (At least according to the picture on his website.)

I'm bad at making guesses, but good at shooting down others'. :)

Re:Pic 020 (series of three)

[intermodal]

I'm bad at making guesses, but good at shooting down others'. :)

That's half the fun of this game ^_^

Re:

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:Pic 020 (series of three)

[intermodal]

actually i just found my pic of JtS...no, its not him

Pic 021

[FortKnox]

Ok, we've had 2 cannibles, a guy with a knife, a pyro, and now a man with a gun [marotti.com]! What a violent bunch (at least he's got the James Bond look going for him... now that I mention that, I shoulda made him Pic "007") ;-)

Re:

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Pic 022

[FortKnox]

BEHOLD! Helios! God of the sun! [marotti.com] (no relation to heliocentric) ;-)

Re:Pic 022

[banky]

gmhowell all the way

Re:Pic 022

[Servo]

I'm pretty sure this is gmhowell.

Re:Pic 022

[mekkab]

either gmhowell or his kid (I hear they pick up facial hair FAST in that family...)

Pic 023

[FortKnox]

I don't want to poke fun at this dude [marotti.com]. Looks like yet another person that can completely kick my arse...

Man, I'm gonna watch my words with some of you guys, now ;-)

Re:

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Pic 024

[FortKnox]

New day, new set of pictures!
We start with curly hair, but badass look [marotti.com].

Re:

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:Pic 024

[leviramsey]

It's also possible that someone may have been devious and posted a sans-glasses photo...

Pic 025

[FortKnox]

Would you like a little Cheese with your wine [marotti.com]?? She would ;-)

Re:Pic 025

[mekkab]

cd playing
if [[ -f KshGoddess ]]
$vote_for_her=1
fi

Pic 026

[FortKnox]

Yet another chicka [marotti.com]! This one is asian. Who could that be?

Pic 027

[FortKnox]

This pic is of a guy with glasses [marotti.com] (sure not the first guy with glasses, but he still has glasses on) ;-)

Pic 028

[FortKnox]

I've gotten to the end of the pictures for today, and I'm fresh outta comments for links. Looks like a stronger guy [marotti.com] from just the headshot.

Pic 029

[FortKnox]

Another Chicka [marotti.com]! Man, I'm glad I told my wife about this contest earlier. I didn't realize so many girls are attracted to me...er... my journal! ;-)

Re:Pic 029

[turg]

That grin makes her look like someone who'd work at Second City.

Re:Pic 029

[leviramsey]

KshGoddess

Here's a new thread

[glh]

We have sexiest guy/girl going, how about a poll for those:

1) Looking the toughest

2) Looking the smartest

3) Looking most like a famous person (name the pic and famous person)

Re:

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

The Greatest Sandwich Story Ever Told

[$$$$$exyGal]

Two human figures intertwined in a rough and fast sexual session reach simultaneous climax and roll off of each other in a naked sweating heap.

"That was seriously some good shit", said the female.

The male smiles widely and gently caresses her from her neck to her naked hip. He reaches and cups her perfect ass as she gets up to use the powder room.

The female clicks the bathroom door shut and raises the light level for comfort. In the mirror is herself, and the taste of ice cream.

Looking away from the mirror, the taste of ice cream fades, but then the room spins, and her five senses quickly become one. Now she can hear the coolness of the water coming out of the faucet, and taste the hardness of the floor which she is now lying upon. A strange sound rushes and fills her eyes, ears, nose, mouth, and fingertips.

She looks to the left and enjoys a cool refreshing breeze on her cheek. It is alarmingly hot. "My feet", she barely whispers, and then painfully swallows.

"You are in the desert", says a voice. "You are the chance. You are one human. You are very thirsty. You are within sight of edible plants and water. You are 1,000,000 years in your past. Welcome."

"Wha?", the female barely gasped.

"Do not speak. Save your strength. Walk to the edible plants and water and gather your strength."

Two days later, the voice speaks again.

"Would you like to go back home, now?"

"YEeeeS! TAKE ME HOME!!! PLEASE! PLEASE PLEASE!"

"You shall see home again. You will do one difficult task and then see home again", whispered the voice.

"What do I have to DO!?!?!", yelled the girl.

"On your world of one million years prior are all of the ingredients you need. You must be very resourceful, cunning, and persistent to make the required object before you can go home. It will take you many centuries, but you will eventually succeed", says the voice even quieter.

"Oh my God", she said.

"Make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich", the voice trailed off.

And with that, the voice never spoke again. The female cried out for further directions, but none were to be heard. She cried for weeks, and continued eating the edible but charcoal tasting plants.

Eventually, she gathered her strength, created some makeshift clothes and satchels, and set out on her journey. Her journey to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich which would one day become:

The Greatest Sandwich Story Ever Told

Re:sexiest girl

[intermodal]

her pic was in her JE recently if you havent seen any yet

Re:sexiest girl

[mekkab]

Its interesting how all the woman are better looking than the guys... (maybe thats because I find women attractive!)

So all the ladies are pretty, and I hate to pick one, so I'll pick three.

7, 25, 26.

Discuss.

Re:Sexiest guy

[salimma]

Apart from that: I never met a truly ugly girl. Never.

Unfortunately I have seen girls who are ... not bad looking, but too flamboyant in their dress sense. Thick lipstick, reeking of perfume...

Coincidentally, she thought she was strikingly gorgeous. Those are the only kind of girls I avoid, really.

agreed

[asv108]

I need a list of names in order match up all these people..

Re:when do we get a list of names?

[mekkab]

RTFA. :P

WHy, thats even harder than googling! I simply can't be bothered! ;)

DING DING DING!

[mekkab]

WE have a winner!
Geo has sussed me out.

Re:when do we get a list of names?

[intermodal]

hmm...tis an idea

Re:when do we get a list of names?

[intermodal]

me either...but it increases the post count

Re:when do we get a list of names?

[FortKnox]

When I stop accepting pictures. If I gave out names, and someone else gives me their picture, I have to include their name. Anyone that has been paying attention would know right away who is involved.

I almost have 30, so maybe, as a new thread, I will give out 10 (totally random) names, then 10 tomorrow, then the rest on monday?

How does that sound?