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IF Quake Takes Fragging To Whole New Level

Posted by simoniker on Thu Apr 01, 2004 01:36 AM
from the typing-of-the-gib dept.
First Person Shooters (Games) Quake Entertainment Games
Thanks to ShackNews for pointing to the impressive technical feats showcased at the unofficial IF Quake page, which bills itself as "...a port of id Software's Quake 1 engine to the Inform programming language." The site includes riveting in-game screenshots, and the FAQ page has important info on bugs with this genuinely playable, downloadable Alpha release, noting: "IF Quake interfaces directly with the Quake engine, which was obviously not designed for [this advanced] output. The errors you see related to audio and OpenGL are due to the fact that the engine is being tricked into thinking it's running normally." Rumors that John Carmack will be switching Doom 3 to this impressive new engine are yet to be substantiated, however.
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  • IF... (Score:5, Funny)

    by dhalgren99 (708333) on Thursday April 01 2004, @01:38AM (#8734280) Homepage
    "IF Quake Takes Fragging To Whole New Level"

    HuH? If it does, what? What then!? ;)

  • enough free time? (Score:4, Funny)

    by AssProphet (757870) * on Thursday April 01 2004, @01:39AM (#8734296) Homepage Journal
    now if only they can make the text 3D.
  • The page for the Inform language is already starting to load sluggishly for me.

    Anyone want to give us a capsule summary of what this language offers? It sounds interesting.

    • Re:Inform programming language? (Score:5, Informative)

      by darc (532156) on Thursday April 01 2004, @02:19AM (#8734518) Journal
      The inform language is an object orienated programming language designed for easy implementation of text based adventure games. It uses a well defined object hierarchy structure, that allows you to define parent child relationships easily, as well as move stuff around. The syntax is similar to C, but not quite, and a bit quirky with commas in parts.

      Most uses of inform are with the Library, a selection of functions and support thingies written to facilitate IF writing.

      It's turing complete, if you were wondering.

      Very nifty. Chief competetor is TADS.
  • to be on topic though, wouldn't intercal have been a better choice for comedic value?

  • Hows the bump mapping? (Score:3, Funny)

    by mattyohe (517995) <matt...yohe@@@gmail...com> on Thursday April 01 2004, @01:41AM (#8734310)
    I would like some benchmarks as well..
  • Here we go people! It's the big number one! Prepare for stories like "What is that Odor?" and "'Duke Nukem Forever' Officially Renamed to 'Duke Nukem ForgetIt'".

    April first is the only day I actually get work done.

  • You are in a maze of twisty corridors, all alike.. (Score:5, Funny)

    by Buran (150348) on Thursday April 01 2004, @01:41AM (#8734313)
    ... You might be eaten by a Shambler.
  • You are in a room with many exits. You see a rocket launcher.

    >Pick up Rocket Launcher
    Rocket launcher picked up.

    >Look.
    You are in a room with many exits. You see player X leaving via exit number 1.

    > Go to exit number 1.
    You are in a room with many exits. You see player X.

    > Fire Rocket Launcher at Player X.
    Player X gibbed. :)

    • No no no, you've got it all wrong. (Score:4, Funny)

      by AvantLegion (595806) on Thursday April 01 2004, @04:03AM (#8734892) Journal
      > Fire Rocket Launcher at Player X.
      Player X gibbed. :)

      Actually, it's:

      > Fire Rocket Launcher at Player X.
      Rocket misses.

      > Fire Rocket Launcher at Player X.
      Rocket appears to hit Player X, but Player X reappears a few meters away, unscathed.

      Player X kills you.

      "OMG FUCKING LAGGG!!!!"

  • DON'T BELIEVE IT (Score:3, Funny)

    by radicalskeptic (644346) <thinkofone@mac . c om> on Thursday April 01 2004, @01:45AM (#8734339)
    This is obviously an April Fools bit. I mean, it says right here [loonyboi.com] that "all screens were taken on Mac OS X running Zoom."

    A ground-breaking new game ported to OS X? Yeah, like anyone's going to believe THAT! Better luck next year, simoniker!

    (PS: I own a Mac so I'm allowed to make these jokes)
  • Owz0r: Shoot the red guy.
    Shoot the red guy with what?
    With the BFG.
    Do what with the BFG?
    Shoot the red guy with the BFG.
    The red guy is no longer in the room with you. You see exits to the north and northeast. You hear a buzzing noise to the northeast.
    NE
    You ran into the red guy's Rocket. Your innards are splattered everywhere.

    Hit space to respawn.

  • Networking (Score:3, Funny)

    by athakur999 (44340) on Thursday April 01 2004, @01:48AM (#8734359) Homepage Journal
    Will this new version support RFC 3514? The original one didn't and that's been a major barrier to adoption in the corporate world.

  • works (Score:5, Informative)

    by Profe55or Booty (540761) <greg@NospaM.pcrash.cjb.net> on Thursday April 01 2004, @01:56AM (#8734396) Homepage
    if anyone's waiting for someone to confirm, there is an actual game on that site. obviously not as advertised, but there's a game. haven't found anything too interesting yet, but i'll be damned if i don't beat this thing.

  • In other news... (Score:5, Funny)

    by wllf (627835) on Thursday April 01 2004, @02:11AM (#8734479) Homepage
    John Carmack announced today the Doom 3 engine will be ported to Visual Basic. Really performance critical parts will be done in Java (Microsoft JVM and IE 5.0 or higher required). According to Carmack the performance of the new engine wil 'stun everyone'.

    Rumors have already been heard that the Duke Nukem Forever team is eagerly waiting for this engine to become available.

  • I am Beta tester for Multiplayer Mode (Score:5, Funny)

    by a!b!c! (137622) on Thursday April 01 2004, @02:19AM (#8734519)
    Multiplayer is still just a puppy, but its coming together nicely. There still is a problem with excessive spawn camping, and its in debate right now whether or not the software should prevent it.

    One guy started using voice recognition to play, which was quite a riot to listen to. As we grew more comfortable with the game we came across some other oddities: if you are a good typer and become familiar with the commands, it plays pretty much like the original quake. We even hooked it up so we had a team of IF players versus a team of graphical players, and the IF players won!

    We've also receieved a lot of encouragement from a few visually impair folks. They complained about the lack of computer gains accessible to them.

    Keep your eyes open for Multiplayer mode, it shoul d be a big hit. Depending on the ultimate success of the project, there are talks about working on Counterstrike next.

  • Humiliation (Score:3, Funny)

    by Keeper (56691) on Thursday April 01 2004, @02:26AM (#8734546)
    I think someone fragged their webserver...

  • "Complete" list of April Fools Jokes for 2004 (Score:5, Informative)

    by Urgo (28400) on Thursday April 01 2004, @02:37AM (#8734597) Homepage
    I'm trying to keep a list of all the sites pulling pranks [urgo.org] for 2004. Visit the site to see the up to the minute list and to submit new ones.

    Current list:

    www.urgo.org [urgo.org]
    mrtwig.net [mrtwig.net]
    southparkx.net [southparkx.net]
    www.suprnova.org [suprnova.org]
    www.cowsponge.com [cowsponge.com]
    Google [google.com]
    Slashdot [slashdot.org]
    fark.com [fark.com]
    www.thinkgeek.com [thinkgeek.com]
    www.pimpworks.org [pimpworks.org]
    www.whirlpool.net.au [whirlpool.net.au]
    planetnintendo.com [planetnintendo.com]
    Google Job [google.com]
    evercrest.com [evercrest.com]
    www.heise.de [heise.de] (not sure if its a joke.. german)
    www.homestarrunner.com [homestarrunner.com]
    Weekly World News [weeklyworldnews.com]

  • april 1 (Score:5, Funny)

    by Nate Fox (1271) on Thursday April 01 2004, @02:48AM (#8734635)
    editors want to play jokes? time to start modding the "First Post!"s up to +5 Informative

  • right (Score:4, Funny)

    by tekunokurato (531385) <jackphelps@gmail.com> on Thursday April 01 2004, @02:59AM (#8734676) Homepage
    April fools!! We fucked your server!

  • This is nothing (Score:3, Funny)

    by Zog The Undeniable (632031) on Thursday April 01 2004, @03:11AM (#8734714)
    I ported Quake II to INTERCAL years ago. I claim the first use, in a FPS, of "COME FROM" and colored lighting ;-)

  • IF Slashdot (Score:5, Funny)

    by MartyJG (41978) on Thursday April 01 2004, @04:10AM (#8734913) Homepage
    Room: Slashdot Main Page

    Directly in front of you are several stories. You notice a story about Quake with the notice 'Read More' beneath it.

    >click notice

    Room: Weekly Obfuscated Quake Story

    You are now in an area that seems vaguely familiar. You immediately notice several trolls that are already attacking both the Quake story and a purple dinosaur.

    Your score is currently +5 moderator points.

    >attack trolls with mod points

    You use all of your moderator ammo on the trolls, taking out a handful. There are still a few trolls left, but they leave you alone. The Quake story is now being protected by sensible readers, but the purple dinosaur is a hill of beans.

    You see an opportunity for a karma kit. You see a notice marked 'Reply'.

    >hit reply

    You now see a Quake story with your post listed near the bottom, but in front of the trolls who are now attacking each other. Two moderators enter the room, closely followed by an Anonymous Coward and two morons who don't know how to read.

    >hit submit story

    Your post has drawn the attention of the others in the room. The faint smell of flamebait seems to be coming from just below your post. Five trolls have suddenly come back to life!

    >attack flamebait with witty reply

    Your witty attack has shot down one of the non-reading morons. One of the moderators takes care of the Anonymous Coward - he runs off to foul up some other room. The other moderator leaves behind a karma point.

    Victory is yours!

  • i dont know whether this is an April Fool but... (Score:3, Funny)

    by Fross (83754) on Thursday April 01 2004, @04:44AM (#8734998) Homepage
    ...some friends and i did something like this several years ago, but sicker. we used to run a MUD (which is sadly defunct now, but was called Powerstruggle for all those of you who fancy a google), and we had a "virtual mud" system within it. as in, a system you could use, while in the mud, and as though you're immersing yourself in a (textual) virtual reality, you end up within a different system, with different stats, your commands routed to the virtual mud, etc etc.

    the first application of this was, in fact, to reimplement doom as a text-based virtual environment within the mud, with its own stats, weapons, maps, and so forth. it worked splendidly.

    what started as a bit of fun, we then reimplemented a different mud within this virtual system. it was a simple one, so it wasn't anything huge to do.

    then, it was abstracted a bit to allow other muds to run under it. so we gave homes to orphaned muds, which were playable as virtual muds within our mud.

    and then even worse, it got extrapolated so other sorts of games could be written under it. last i remember, someone had implemented the Magic:The Gathering card game under this system.

    ah, muds. back when we all had time to goof off and spend 16 hours a day coding, but not on our CS degrees. having said that, my mud work got me my first two jobs rather than my degree, so things sometimes work out in the end :>

  • Files mirrored (Score:4, Informative)

    by loonyboi (101145) on Thursday April 01 2004, @10:31AM (#8736839) Homepage
    Hi everyone...I've moved the actual downloadable files to FileShack, as my server's being hammered relentlessly:

    All three versions can be downloaded here:

    http://www.fileshack.com/file.x?fid=4807

    Thanks!

    -jason

    PS: YES, this is a real game.

    • Re:Are the downloads real? (Score:4, Informative)

      by simoniker (40) * <simoniker@slashdot. o r g> on Thursday April 01 2004, @01:43AM (#8734326) Homepage Journal
      The game is fully playable, and actually pretty good fun, too.
      • Yeah, I'm suprised it's not some april fools joke.

        Too bad I suck so bad at all these reading stuff, but for fun I tried to type "carmack" and "romero" and I got some feedback :-)

        I wonder what other little easter eggs are in this game.

        • Yeah, I'm suprised it's not some april fools joke.

          It's sorta an April Fool's joke. The joke is that it's a "port" - this joke is supported by the notion that the game pulls some tricks like it's the GLQuake console, and the website implies that you need the PAK files from a shareware or registered Quake. You don't. It's not a port at all - it doesn't use Quake code or use any Quake resources.

          What it really is is just damn clever. It would be interesting to see if this provokes a more mainstream interest

        • Re:Are the downloads real? (Score:5, Informative)

          by lxs (131946) on Thursday April 01 2004, @02:18AM (#8734515)
          No, you just need the quake.z5 file in the ifquake folder and an infocom interpreter like frotz. Basically, it's a text adventure that pokes some gentle fun at quake 1.
          >n

          East Slipgate Room
          As you walk up the plain wooden stairs, the metal bars retract into holes in the
          ceiling, like some sort of medieval supermarket door. To call the area you walk
          into next a room would be a deep insult to rooms everywhere (and lord knows
          they're an easily offended lot). This closet has two very small bodies writhing
          in agony on the walls and an archaic-looking metal slipgate in front of you to
          the north. And that's it. Clearly the designers of this room expected you to be
          wowed by the aquatic passageway they installed in lieu of a normal door to the
          previous room.

          >examine bodies
          The bodies are crucified to the walls on your right and left. They seem to be
          emaciated, but also rather small in comparison to your ample girth, suggesting
          that these were perhaps some unfortunate Leprechauns who had one too many drinks
          on St. Patrick's Day. Interestingly, they appear to be thrashing about in near
          unison, making you wonder if they were in fact some sort of synchronized agony
          team.

          >
          and so on.

    • Farked? (Score:5, Funny)

      by hprotagonist0 (312387) on Thursday April 01 2004, @01:56AM (#8734403)
      We don't do no farkin' around these here parts, buddy. What site d'you say you was from? A good ol' fashioned Slashdottin'll fry ten servers before breakfast and still have time to read the comics. I don't think any fancy-pants farkin' can do that, boy.

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