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Games Entertainment

To The Pain 340

Posted by michael from the pain-and-consequences dept.
Reedo writes: "If you enjoy gaming and pain, this is for you. Two German designers have developed the Painstation, which is basically a revamped Pong. Except for one major difference - The PEU(Pain Execution Unit), which delivers a dose of pain to your left hand in the form of heat, punches or electroshock, when you mess up."
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To The Pain More

To The Pain

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  • LIke 007!!! (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Sorcerer13 ( 52588 ) on Thursday March 07, 2002 @11:52PM (#3128732) Homepage
    In Never Say Never again, like the world domination game. Wasn't that guy a German too.
    • I don't. I expect you to die!
    • In Never Say Never again, like the world domination game. Wasn't that guy a German too.

      I have avoided NSNA like the plague (I'm strictly a fan of the Broccoli productions), but NSNA is a remake of Thunderball, in which the villain was Italian. But Kevin McClory might well have made the character German.

    • as you know, the bad guy almost always has a fake-german (or russian) accent. it's a shame american actors are so bad at these accents... that's why the hire dutch guys for it (eg rutger hauer, jeroen krabbe).

      score: -1, informative :-)

      • Brandauer (who played the villain Maximillian Largo in Never Say Never Again) is Austrian, but the character is - errm, Italian I guess. In the original Thunderbolt, Emilio Largo was played by Adolfo Celi, an Italian.

        Gert Fröbe was German, but the character Auric Goldfinger is supposed to be British.

      • Of course the villains usually had German accents--for a very long period after WWII, a staggering portion of villains were either Nazi's or warmed over Nazis. (In Star Trek, the Klingons were Nazis. In the spinoffs, they're norsemen).


        As the coldwar progressed, the villains became commies. As the south american drug trade progressed, se saw more of them. In the near future, we'll see more arabs with bad afghanistan accents--though I expect there will always be a token "good Arab" to show that the producer isn't prejudiced . . .


        hawk

        • Re:villain's accents (Score:2, Informative)

          by jgalun ( 8930 )
          The Klingons were not Nazis, they were the Soviets, and the Romulans were the Chinese. Hence, in Star Trek 6, the Cold War ends because the Soviet Empire falls apart (shades of Chernobyl).

          The Klingons in 60s Star Trek bear great resemblance to the Krushchev-era Soviets - belligerant, aggressive, bombastic, but not actually willing to start a full war. There are no Nazi-elements to them.
  • Imagine a version of this for the old NES boxing game. I don't remember what it was called though, sigh. Hmm, maybe I'm a little punch drunk?

    har har

  • Ridiculous! If you're a masochism, at least do it with style, man.

  • Hmmm.... (Score:5, Funny)

    by Robert Hayden ( 58313 ) on Thursday March 07, 2002 @11:53PM (#3128739) Homepage
    If only we could wire this up to remotely do the same to Bill gates every time Windows crashes...

    PoIP (Pain over IP) protocol. Coming to an RFC near you.
    • He'd probably like it.
    • brilliant ... my first out-loud laugh on slashdot today ... :)
    • I was thinking of writing, as a joke-RFC, something similar. Behavior Modification through Strategic Voltage Application.

      In which an RFC-Standard protocol would be implemented in all computer operating systems. Electrodes embedded in keyboard keys and mice (optionally, seats) would be wired to the building. Upon the user doing something stupid, for instance, opening an e-mail they were explicitly told via e-mail and domain-wide net send not to open, current of varying intensity can be applied to the user.

      This would of course need to be scripted for use in most environments.

      Unfortunately, i'd be too tempted to hack the system at my former employer. -angst-.

    • Re:Hmmm.... (Score:5, Funny)

      by bero-rh ( 98815 ) <bero&redhat,com> on Friday March 08, 2002 @02:00AM (#3129064) Homepage
      If only we could wire this up to remotely do the same to Bill gates every time Windows crashes...

      Actually I'm glad we can't... If we could, I'm quite
      sure I'd actually get and install Windows, and I don't want
      to hurt my beloved computer that badly. ;)
    • And it would be entirely appropriate to propose an RFC that, amongst other things, specified:
      • WSDL schemas so that you could do this using SOAP;
      • Microsoft IDL, so that you could do this using COM;
      • For insult's sake, CORBA IDL;
      • Integration with A Standard for the Transmission of IP Datagrams on Avian Carriers [faqs.org]
      • An extension that involves using a whiffle bat to convince the unwary that this isn't going to be too painful...

      There are but weeks to go; time to start reviewing other 04/01 RFCs for further inspiration....

  • How to do this for, oh, $10 (Score:5, Funny)

    by Tyler Eaves ( 344284 ) on Thursday March 07, 2002 @11:55PM (#3128747)
    Download MAME
    Download Pong ROM
    Buy Hammer
    Thwack self on hand with hammer on death.

    Rinse, lather, repeat until hand becomes bloody stump.

  • It's also a DVD/CD player (Score:4, Funny)

    by nakaduct ( 43954 ) on Thursday March 07, 2002 @11:55PM (#3128748)
    ... but it only plays R&B albums and Burt Reynolds movies. Use of the pain sender is optional during DVD or CD playback.

  • This is clearly Germany's attempt to ensure that they will be bathing in Gold Medals when Pong is made an olympic sport. Or maybe they're just going to do more S&M with it; I hear a LOT of Germans are into that.
  • Next, will be peripherals to different parts of the body that can deliver all kinds of sensations - warm, cool, wet, dry, all manner of touch...
    The porn sites will make a killing.
    Welcome to the era of cyber-hookers!
    At least it's safe sex :)

  • been there... (Score:3, Funny)

    by r00tarded ( 553054 ) on Thursday March 07, 2002 @11:57PM (#3128761)
    my friends do this to me all the time, especially when playing videogames.
  • Am I the only one who considered for a moment which of my friends would, and which would not, play this with me?
  • can't be said to cause violence . .. it clearly shows you that pain hurts and that it's bad!
    now, if you'll excuse me, I've got next . . .

  • ...uh... (Score:1, Flamebait)

    by anotherone ( 132088 )
    Why would anyone play this?

  • what the fuck is wrong with German people? (Score:4, Funny)

    by wwest4 ( 183559 ) on Thursday March 07, 2002 @11:58PM (#3128772)


    The funniest part was about the idiots who stuck to it because they didn't want to back down in front of an audience. This game will be great at separating showy meatheads from people who listen to their inner Pavlov despite their vanity.

    "Yeah, but I didn't know you were going to be giving me electric shocks... just what are you trying to prove here, anyway?"

    Indeed.
  • Wake me up when they come up with a CounterStrike simulator that murders you when you die in the game. I think we'd see a lot more campers.
  • only ze germans could come up with something so ridiculous. it'll make a great junior high school party game over there, i'm sure. sure beats playing "deep-throat the kielbasa" and wishing their parents saved some beer for them...

    i'm not a racist, i swear...all in good fun, i hope

  • To The Pain - The Reference (Score:5, Informative)

    by screwballicus ( 313964 ) on Friday March 08, 2002 @12:01AM (#3128781)
    In case you've been living on another planet for the past generation, here's what the phrase "to the pain" should mean to you:

    From The Princess Bride [imdb.com]

    Humperdink: "...to the death"

    Westley: "No. To the pain."

    Humperdink: "I don't believe I'm familiar with that phrase."

    Westley: "I'll explain, and I'll use small words so you'll be sure to understand, you warthog-faced buffoon."

    Humperdink: "That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me."

    Westley: "It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you lose is your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrist. Next your nose."

    Humperdink: "Then my tongue, I suppose. I killed you too quickly the first time, a mistake I do not mean to duplicate tonight."

    Westley: "I wasn't finished. The next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by your right."

    Humperdink: "And then my ears, I understand, let's get on with it."

    Westley: "WRONG! Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. It's so that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out 'Dear God, what is that thing' will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever."

  • Maybe if you mounted the pain-application-device to the wristwrest of a keyboard and designed the whole thing as a "head-to-head" two-player game-station, complete with high quality flat-panels, you could make this work commercially. As it stands now, I don't think many people will pay to get hurt everytime they lose a ball in a game that's been outdated since hard-drives were too expensive for the desktop, and desktop computers used TVs as monitors. Maybe if people got hurt with every Quake/Half-Life death (or maybe a sting for the first bullet hit in the last 10 seconds?), you could market it. But PONG?!
  • Erm... Maybe I'm mistaken, but isn't Pong already painful enough?

    --
    Damn the Emperor!
    • Erm... Maybe I'm mistaken, but isn't Pong already painful enough?

      That would be Pang.
      pang (png) n. 1. A sudden sharp spasm of pain. 2. A sudden, sharp feeling of emotional distress.
  • They went to all this trouble to invent the "Painstation" and the best they could do was PONG? Talk about rubbing salt in your game-inflicted wounds.
  • I thought the reason most people "like" pain (myself at one time perhaps included) was for the sort of strange sexual pleasure you [can] get out of it. While I love Legend of Zelda as much as the next gal, I find nothing erotic about video games, and I definitely don't think I would think better of the games this toy is better suited for.

    Or perhaps does pain engender some other sort of emotion for other people?

    • Re:sexy? (Score:5, Funny)

      by freeweed ( 309734 ) on Friday March 08, 2002 @12:12AM (#3128826)
      While I love Legend of Zelda as much as the next gal

      Zelda fan AND female. Marry me. Pain optional.

    • Looks like most us are into that pain-pleasure thing. Coïncidence?

  • And the current game platforms are fighting people for being too violent?

    I fear that the pain will be a little too much for too many people and too little for others.

    Burns, heart attacks, and other problems will stop this from being a cool platform that it could be.
    with this system, a broken controller button might piss you off a bit more.

    We're just not ready as a society for this yet, we squabble over incompetance in copyrights and intelectual property rights more than we try to improve the world for the betterment of man.

    As soon as there are foundations funding and protecting people for their contributions rather than mega-corperations trying to sue them and get their marketshare, then we will be able to accept the responsibility for a game platform like this.
  • This is the same principle we see when people eat hot chilly peppers or engage in saddism. Pain release endorphins that cause pleasure and the body learns to want the effect. So do you shock the loser or the winner?

  • No no no... you don't understand!!! (Score:5, Funny)

    by Restil ( 31903 ) on Friday March 08, 2002 @12:03AM (#3128798) Homepage
    You can't sue us because you got carpal tunnel syndrome. Thats a FEATURE OF THIS KEYBOARD!!! Marketing information has clearly shown that people who work with computer equipment WANT to be in pain.

    -Restil

  • Is this really healthy? (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Starship Trooper ( 523907 ) on Friday March 08, 2002 @12:06AM (#3128805) Homepage Journal
    Most computer-inclined people already abuse their hands enough as it is, wrecking their wrists with 15-hour coding binges, hours spent playing Playstation 2 games on those horrible little controllers, and of course *ahem* viewing "multimedia content" on the Web. Something like this, if it becomes popular with geeks, will only exacerbate the carpal tunnel epidemic that's already putting geeks out of employment by the thousands. These frivolities like electric shock, force feedback and "rumble packs" are only exacerbating the problem that today's computer interfaces are an ergonomic nightmare.

    Research being wasted on silly projects like this should instead be focused on voice recognition, speech synthesis, and other computer interface technologies that will finally allow us to eliminate the torturous tools that are the modern keyboard and mouse. My friend, who once commanded a six-figure salary coding C++ for a large development firm, has been crippled by these implements and now has to struggle with demeaning part-time jobs in order to put food on the table. I would hate to see this happen to somebody again. We must throw off the shackles of the typing paradigm.

    • So in the future we get to talk 16 hours a day? How convenient.

    • We must throw off the shackles of the typing paradigm.

      That's funny, I've been typing for long periods of time (lately 12-16 hours a day isn't unusual) a day for the last 15 years or so and I've never had my wrists hurt. I suspect this is related to the fact that I taught myself to type, rather than having that godawful "home row" method drilled into me (which did hurt for the few weeks I was forced to do it in school). I wouldn't denounce the keyboard just yet.

      My thumbs will agree with you on the bit about game controllers, though.

      • A-Freaking-men. I don't type using the home row method - and when i did, it did hurt. i let my hands float where they want to be.

        when i sit down, my fingers are usually on asdfjop'. From there, they fly all over the place. Posture has a lot to do with how comfortable you are typing, i think. I've used the same desk with the extendable writing surfaces to either side for -years-. The desk is in awful shape. I Need to refinish it, if i ever get another job :(. But it has a nice built in footrest, and those writing surfaces support my elbows only about 3/4ths of an inch below the keyboard. The only pain in my body is my lower back :( but i doubt that has anything to do with typing.. more likely it has to do with me sitting on my fat rear 16 hours a day in front of the keyboard, drinking soda's and eating junk food. :(

    • Adjust your desk so your elbows, forearms, wrists and hands form a straight line. That will keep any carpal tunnel from getting worse. It does go away with time if not aggravated (I've had it bad and recovered a couple of times now).

      If you're worried about getting a bad case, so bad you won't be able to work, do this every morning:

      - Hold you hands out straight at the level of your ribs
      - Clench your hands into fists as tight as you can for 1 second
      - Flex your hands open and splay your fingers as far as they will go for 5 seconds.
      - Repeat until you've done 5 to 10 of them.

      This is supposed to "scuff" off the accumulations in the carpal tunnel and improve the clearance your tendons have inside your wrists. Ever since I added that stretch to my morning, my CT problems have stopped recurring. I'm not any kind of medical professional, but of the medical advice I've received on this, holding your wrists straight and the clench/flex stretch seem to do the most real good.

      As for reforming the entire PC/Consumer Electronics industry in one fell swoop, I think it's going to take more than one post. Best of luck. Just don't hurt yourself with all that impassioned typing.

    • My friend, who once commanded a six-figure salary coding C++ for a large development firm, has been crippled by these implements and now has to struggle with demeaning part-time jobs in order to put food on the table.

      This is obvious bullshit. Anyone who's that good of a C++ coder could find employment in the field, even if it means coding v-e-r-y slowly with a stick between his teeth (or dictating to an assistant).

    • I don't think today's interfaces are an ergonomic nightmare. I've been programming and typing heavily for about 10 years and the only pain I've ever noticed was in my right arm from sitting in a chair too low and keeping my arm in a weird position while using a mouse for 8 hours. I learned from that experience and now I make sure my chair and desk surface are oriented safely.

      Use a wrist elevator! Carpal tunnel happens when you type with your wrists bent up or down from the level, forcing the tendons to slide through the carpal tunnel around a corner. If you type with your wrists in line with your forearms, you'll find you can type for hours without significant problems, as long as you take frequent breaks -- which are, by the way, also good for your back.

      Wrist exercises help also. I think most geeks perform wrist exercises daily.

  • The original "to the pain" quote derives from the Princess Bride (for more detail see another post) and means long-lasting, really bad pain. This gadget delivers weak to mild momentary pain (hopefully!). It's kind of like The Forced-Feedback Enemy-Denial Smackdown Ergonomic Game Chair, without the Quad Damage Simulator.

    By the way, I do believe this is the first story I've seen with a new Big F@(!*@ Ad.

  • hm (Score:4, Interesting)

    by prizzznecious ( 551920 ) <hwky @ f r eeshell.org> on Friday March 08, 2002 @12:07AM (#3128810) Homepage
    A lot of people have been insulting this, and asking why in the world anyone would play it, but it seems pretty obvious to me. Pain makes your body produce adrenalin, which would definitely heighten the gaming experience. It's not like the pain this machine delivers is extremely intense--but it should be enough to get your endorphins pumping and get your cheeks flushed and make you enjoy the game THAT much more when you win. Sure, it's not for you wusses who wouldn't play the pain game back in grade school, but who wants to play with people who can't take the consequences of losing anyway? :)

    Personally, I'd like to see a study that pits the enjoyment derived from regular pong vs. pain-pong. I wouldn't be surprised if people reported a much higher level of enjoyment during pain-pong, even if they lost some of the time.

  • Oh wait a sec... (Score:3, Funny)

    by MongooseCN ( 139203 ) on Friday March 08, 2002 @12:10AM (#3128819) Homepage
    At first I thought it was Microsoft changing the name of their X-Box to compete with the Playstation.

  • Interesting experiment (Score:2, Interesting)

    by J23SE ( 107309 )
    It would be interesting to set up a statistical test to compare the performance of two relatively large groups to determine if there is a significant increase in pong (or any game) playing skills when using a stimulant such as pain. Have any studies like this been performed?

    Obviously, Pavlov's experiments with dogs come to mind, but the question is whether this recognition would significantly translate to digital skills, or would increase in skill be matched by non-pained individuals? Would degree of pain matter?

    It would be interesting to note the threshold at which pain stops benefitting.
    • Obviously, Pavlov's experiments with dogs come to mind, but the question is whether this recognition would significantly translate to digital skills, or would increase in skill be matched by non-pained individuals? Would degree of pain matter?
      Actually, Pavolov's dogs shouldn't come to mind. That was positive refinforcement (bell rings, get food), whereas this is negative reinforcement (miss the ball, get zapped).

      I'll leave the detailed explanation of the differences between these two for someone less unqualified.

      --
      Damn the Emperor!

  • Wrong game (Score:3, Funny)

    by Kris_J ( 10111 ) on Friday March 08, 2002 @12:28AM (#3128860) Homepage Journal
    If they were going to go all retro with this you'd think they'd at least do an electronic clone of Operation...

  • And what when you win? (Score:4, Funny)

    by Shiny Metal S. ( 544229 ) on Friday March 08, 2002 @12:48AM (#3128921) Homepage
    delivers a dose of pain to your left hand in the form of heat, punches or electroshock, when you mess up.
    Does it also do what I think [vrinnovations.com] when you win?

  • misapplication of technology? (Score:4, Funny)

    by glwtta ( 532858 ) on Friday March 08, 2002 @12:57AM (#3128942) Homepage
    What's wrong with just smacking your opponent immediately after the game? It's worked for centuries!
  • All I read here are negative comments! What's so bad about this? In the arcades in the UK, we have a stupid game where you hold a metal bars with your hand, you put the money in, and hold onto them for as long as possible. What they do is vibrate extremely quickly and ends up getting your hands hot, and then it feels like your whole arm has gone numb. Whoever holds longest wins. Same thing.

    Now this is one step further, it's not just psychological, it's actually inflicting pain. This is extremely cool! But then again, I always beat everyone at Pong, so I guess I would say that.

    I think this would encourage people to play better. Think Quake 3. If you got a kick in the ass everytime you got fragged, I think you'd get better.
    • > All I read here are negative comments! What's so
      > bad about this? In the arcades in the UK, we
      > have a stupid game where you hold a metal bars
      > with your hand, you put the money in, and hold
      > onto them for as long as possible. What they do
      > is vibrate extremely quickly and ends up getting
      > your hands hot, and then it feels like your
      > whole arm has gone numb. Whoever holds longest
      > wins. Same thing.

      Now we know why the British government held out as long as it did before paying worker's compensation [wsws.org] for vibration white finger.
    • We have something like that here in the states. It is two bars that you hold on to, and it vibrates on top of sending a current of electricity through your body. The current is low but enough to wear you feel it and would like to let go. The longer you hold on the more tickets you get to redeem for prizes.

      I think it is based off of the Addams Family.
  • Back when I was working the phone lines. Back then I longed for a way to make the luser on the other end feel my pain when I tell him for the first 30 times "Type d-i-r space star dot star" and the 31st time I neglect to include the space and he tells me it says "Bad command or filename."

    Yeah. I could have used something like this back then. Oh Yeah...

  • Did you hear about the pocket version? It's just as cool, albiet a bit more manual in operation. It requires a 9volt battery and crotch clamps.

    The two-player mode is cool too, you just place a certain number of fingers, based on score, in a doorjam and let your friend give it a hearty shove!

  • Don't back down! (Score:2, Interesting)

    by castlan ( 255560 )
    The fact that these guys went through so much trouble to bring the element of physical pain to the typically less than tactile sport of gaming indicates that they are masochists. They were dissatisfied by the lack of pain in their gaming, so they fixed that shortcoming. Besides their basic engineering skills at accomplishing this feat, they also indicate their intelligence and cynical wit with the clever title of Painstation. This photograph [painstation.de] provides evidence that they have the ability to perseverse through adversity.

    Now if you combine these qualities, you get a formidable force. If Sony threatens them over over the use of the term "Painstation", I say that they shouldn't back down, and I would be puzzled if they did! Not many people would confuse an archiaic self contained bar-sized electronic table-tennis-torture device with the Sony Playstation line of Home gaming consoles, even with the "force-feedback" option. I say that these clever masochists should stand by their production in the face of the belligerent Sony, and who better to do it! If not for the cause of marketing technological advancement despite questionable Intellectual Property practice, then at least for the sake of art! More than just a proof-of-concept of a phyciological Human Computer Interaction theory, this is an artistic statement regarding the current reality of the gaming and home entertainment industries. All great art comes from suffering artists, and this is no exception!

    Of course, I do have a few reservations. The word should not be an issue, but if this is going to be produced for mass marketing, then I might take exception to the use of the Playstation font or visual appearance. I think that bringing this into the world of commerce should impose some IP rules. The fact that most of this is preexisting technology should definitely be considerdd to th benefit of the Painstation.

    The most important concern is how sanitary this is. I'd hate to pick up Hepatitis at the local video arcade...

    -castlan
  • Heat, Punches, and Electroshocks to the hand?

    I mean, come on, if you want drastically improve pong skills (as it seems everybody does in today's dog-eat-dog world) then you just have to hook this system up to testicles.

    Ping - dot dot - ping - dot dot - ZAAAAP!

    I guanrantee you'll see marked improvement in a very short time.

    Wow! a 4358 hit rally and it's still going! That is just amazing!

    :)
  • Those that talk about adrenelin rush have hit the nail on the head. The more dire the consequences, the more tense it is and the greater the euphoria when you win. It's why people that have been paintballing are ambivalent about going back and playing Laser Quest. When other people ask if it _hurts_ when you are hit by a paintball, and you say yes, trying explain why it's so great without seeming a masochist is difficult. The arena where you are holed up in a cabin, and the enemy are pelting all sides so hard it's dangerous to even raise your head, is definately a rush.

    The Painstation tries to inject that same feeling into a game where you usually play forfeits (nothing quite like strip Pong). Personally I don't think it will work as well as an outdoors pursuit, where you can get the blood pumping to disperse that adrenelin effectively.

    After the mechanical punch voting fiasco in California, I hear Zimbabwe is installing these sophisticated electonic devices to ensure voters cast their vote correctly...

    Phillip.
  • Why would any play that? It's inconceivable.


    Ew.. It's bad I know but with a title like "To the Pain" and 50 karma, what else was there to do?

  • 'Ve Haf Vays unt means of maikink you scream

  • I already saw something like this months ago here [bbspot.com]

  • (Hate subject clipping):
    Is this an Acme Forced-Feedback Enemy-Denial Smackdown Ergonomic Game Chair?

    In case you don't know what I am talking about, read [userfriendly.org] these [userfriendly.org] links [userfriendly.org].

  • Buttercup: Oh, Westley, will you ever forgive me?
    Westley: What hideous sin have you committed lately?
    Buttercup: I got married. I didn't want to. It all happened so fast.
    Westley: It never happened.
    Buttercup: What?
    Westley: It never happened.
    Buttercup: But it did! I was there...this old man said man and wife.
    Westley: Did you say I do?
    Buttercup: Uh...no. We sort of skipped that part.
    Westley: Then you're not married. You didn't say it. You didn't do it.
    Wouldn't you agree, your highness?
    Humperdink: A technicality that will shortly be remedied...but first things
    first.. [He draws his sword] To the death!
    Westley: [slowly sitting up] No! To the pain!
    Humperdink: I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase?
    Westley: I'll explain, and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to
    understand. You wart-hog-faced buffoon!
    Humperdink: [insulted] That may be the first time in my life a man has dared
    insult me.
    Westley: It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you lose will
    be your your feet below the ankles, then your hands at your wrists.
    Next, your nose.
    Humperdink: Then my tongue, I suppose? I killed you too quickly the last
    time, a mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.
    Westley: I wasn't finished! The next thing you lose will be your left eye
    followed by your right!
    Humperdink: And then my ears...I understand! Let's get on with it!
    Westley: Wrong! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why; so that every
    shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness is yours to cherish.
    Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman that cries out,
    'dear god what is that thing!' will echo in your perfect ears. That is
    what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in
    freakish misery forever.

    [Or in otherwords, you'll be turned into Cowboy Neal.]
  • disable holodeck safeties, authorization, Worf, alpha-1-alpha.

    Warning. Holodeck safeties have been removed.

  • Is this going to be the basis for another game-show on FOX?

  • It's all about sex (Score:3, Funny)

    by Sloppy ( 14984 ) on Friday March 08, 2002 @10:51AM (#3130358) Homepage Journal

    One of the problems with the FuckU-FuckMe [fu-fme.com] is that it's so straightlaced. It's good to see technology advancing to address the needs of people who are into S&M.

  • So, does this mean I should wear tight black leather, studded collar, S&M mask, and have a "mistress" with me when I use this device?

  • Do you.. (Score:3, Funny)

    by Peaker ( 72084 ) <gnupeaker.yahoo@com> on Friday March 08, 2002 @12:59PM (#3131025) Homepage
    agree to the terms of this EULA? [Yes/No]

    No
    Ouch!

    No
    Ouch!

    okay, yes!

  • The game itself is based on the first-generation PC game known as Pong, or bar tennis, and is followed by both players through a graphics display in the center of the table.


    Huh, the author makes it sound like pong was first implemented on a PC. Hello ???

  • Go Outside (Score:3, Interesting)

    by weston ( 16146 ) <<westonsd> <at> <canncentral.org>> on Friday March 08, 2002 @01:16PM (#3131136) Homepage

    So, just yesterday I was having a conversation with this guy from the Netherlands, and he was telling me how weird the Germans are. I told him they seemed pretty much like everyone else to me. Today, I'm not so sure.

    But hey, if you want to be involved with activities where there is potential for pain if you mess up, may I suggest the following:

    • Mountain Biking: Ever seen the "radius" seperated from the "ulna" and sticking "out of the arm"? Mmmm. Compound fractures.
    • Rock climbing: You'll probably be saved from most permanent injury by clipping in, but it doesn't always stop people from breaking both kneecaps on a bad fall.
    • In-line skating: Actually, ice skating can work too, but gravel or pavement are better surfaces for abrasive punishment on top of impact punishment. They absorb blood better, too.
    • Playing with Microwave/EM Cores. What's that smell? Liver? (Don't do this. Seriously. Don't.)
    • Dating: Nothing gives good internal pain without permanant damage like dating (well, maybe not permanent).
    • River rafting: I'll never forget my dislocated shoulder. Sigh.
    Really, I don't know why adding pain to an activity is an accomplishment. Sure, it makes the "stakes" more real, but if you want real stakes, do something real.
  • 1) Drive to local store and buy PC game.
    2) Install game on PC, enter 157 digit serial code on back of jewel case.
    3) (With great anticipation) Start up game - locks up.
    4) Reboot, connect to game Web site, download patchs 1 - 5.
    5) Install patches 1 - 5
    6) (With anticipation) Start-up game - locks up.
    7) Go to M$ site, and download latest version of DirectX
    8) Install latest version of DirectX
    9) Reboot
    10) (With resignation) Start-up game - locks up.
    11) Go to Video card manufacturer Web site - download updates to video card driver.
    12) Install updates to video driver.
    13) Reboot
    14) (With great resignation) Start-up game - locks up.
    15) Go out to "Gaming" Web site - look through FAQ's, message boards
    16) Tweak video card configuration settings
    17) Reboot
    18) (With fear and loathing) Start up game - it runs!

    Compared to this "Painstation" is for WIMPS!!

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