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The Bard's Tale - The RPG Curb Your Enthusiasm? 54

Posted by simoniker from the article-said-it-first dept.
Thanks to GameSpy for its preview of forthcoming action-RPG The Bard's Tale for PS2/PC, as the latest in the classic series, whose announcement was previously covered on Slashdot Games, promises an "irreverent tone" in a game that's claimed to be "...part Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance, part Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, and part Curb Your Enthusiasm." Elsewhere in the article, it's noted that this inXile Entertainment developed title is due out in Q4 2004, and features a main character in the form of "a jaded adventurer that has seen and done it all, but is somewhat the worse for wear from all of it", in a story that "pokes fun at numerous RPG clichés".
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The Bard's Tale - The RPG Curb Your Enthusiasm? More

The Bard's Tale - The RPG Curb Your Enthusiasm?

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  • ugh (Score:5, Funny)

    by Naikrovek ( 667 ) <jjohnson@p[ ]com ['sg.' in gap]> on Sunday February 15, 2004 @07:59PM (#8289917)
    "...part Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance, part Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, and part Curb Your Enthusiasm."

    Why can't anyone come up with something NEW?

    • Re:ugh (Score:5, Funny)

      by Cosmik ( 730707 ) on Sunday February 15, 2004 @08:03PM (#8289939) Homepage
      But...but...but...no one has ever put those 3 games together before.

      As far as the investors are concerned, it is new.

      On the topic about the main character "having seen it and done it all", it reminds me of the Terry Pratchett character Cohen the Barbarian. No one can possibly be worse for wear from adventures than that old coot.

    • Re:ugh (Score:5, Insightful)

      by Scrameustache ( 459504 ) on Sunday February 15, 2004 @08:03PM (#8289941) Homepage Journal
      Why can't anyone come up with something NEW?

      New things are not garanteed revenue generators. Who's gonna produce that?

    • By that token... (Score:5, Insightful)

      by OgdEnigmaX ( 535667 ) on Sunday February 15, 2004 @08:35PM (#8290072)
      No RPGs, books, movies, TV shows, or songs ought ever be made again...I mean, the ideas aren't NEW, are they? I mean jeez, I'm so sick of stories about *people* or otherwise sentient creatures -- people have been making them for thousands of years! Bring on the epic moss movies, I say!

      Just because something is novel doesn't necessarily make it good...

      • Re:By that token... (Score:3, Insightful)

        by bersl2 ( 689221 )
        New species/races? (Why not a moss epic?) Different combinations of personalities? Odd philosophies?

        You'd be surprised what's still left. Just use your imagination.

    • Re:ugh (Score:5, Interesting)

      by Mark Imbriaco ( 133740 ) on Sunday February 15, 2004 @08:36PM (#8290074)
      No kidding, especially since I played the original "The Bard's Tale" in 1985 or so on a Commodore 64. It'll be interesting to see how they handle the remake -- I was underwhelmed by the remake of another classic that was released recently, "Defender of the Crown".
      • Perhaps you'd be interested in the similarly titled epic "Quest for the Crown," found at http://www.lanceandeskimo.com/flash/quest.html

    • Re:ugh (Score:5, Insightful)

      by Rallion ( 711805 ) on Sunday February 15, 2004 @08:45PM (#8290118) Journal
      Actually, if you consider mixing stuff unoriginal, then what is original? Any visual art is just existing colors and shapes put together, after all. I'm not saying that BG:DA, KotOR and CYE seem to combine to form the most original thing ever, specifically. But the concept isn't a bad one.

      There's nothing new under the sun, etc., etc....

    • Re:ugh (Score:1)

      by Kwil ( 53679 )
      Because the people who finance games can't be bothered to read more than a single sentence.

  • Hmm, a new Bard's Tale (Score:4, Interesting)

    by Pluvius ( 734915 ) <pluvius3@@@gmail...com> on Sunday February 15, 2004 @08:01PM (#8289932) Journal
    I'm interested in how it turns out; even though I always found the classic games way too difficult, I still like them. I notice that it's an action-RPG in the style of Dark Alliance, though; I hope Bard's Tale isn't another victim of consolification.

    Rob (I also hope the parody aspects aren't completely stupid and unfunny)

    • Re:Hmm, a new Bard's Tale (Score:4, Funny)

      by Acts of Attrition ( 635948 ) on Sunday February 15, 2004 @11:34PM (#8291015)
      I'm interested in the Curb Your Enthusiasm missions, such as....

      Fighting Richard Lewis for a bracelet for your elvish girlfriend

      Wondering what the "cut-off time" is for serenading someone outside their window with your bardish tunes.

      • I'm interested in the Curb Your Enthusiasm missions, such as....

        Wondering what the "cut-off time" is for serenading someone outside their window with your bardish tunes.

        Simple, sooner or later you'll have to stop singing because you'll get hit with one of the Curb Your Enthusiasm curses, such as a public hair caught in your throat...

      • 10 pm. Cheryl said that 10.45 was too late, and I countered that no time is too late if it's good news. (from Season 2, Episode 1)

        I'd be more interested in seeing 'The Doll' episode in RPG form.

        BTW, Susie Essman would make a great ogre in the game.. 'you fat fuck and you four eyed piece of shit!'

  • Cliche (Score:2, Funny)

    by Bad Boy Marty ( 15944 )
    a story that "pokes fun at numerous RPG cliches"
    There's only one such cliche: "We nuke it, and take its treasure!" Well, at least that's how it was when I played D&D (Computers? We were lucky to have abaci!)....
    • "We nuke it, and take its treasure!"

      But... But... But...
      In D&D there is no 'Nuke'; being set in the dark ages and all.
      However, that theif in the party (rogue in DnD?) that we gave the vorpal weapon and cloak of invisibility usually did a good job of cleaning out the room...

      As an aside, since backstab does 2x damage, and a vorpal weapon turns people into cranially-challenged individuals, does that mean they also lose... never mind...

    • Re:Cliche (Score:5, Insightful)

      by prockcore ( 543967 ) on Monday February 16, 2004 @02:31AM (#8291866)
      There's only one such cliche: "We nuke it, and take its treasure!"

      Then surely you've noticed some of the other cliches, like giant spiders somehow possess treasure.

      Or that the special items bosses have always seem to match your specialty. "Bad Boy Marty is coming to kill me, better go to the store and buy that sweet bow that he wants."

      Or that even though this guy his hacking on you with this monster sword, wearing sweet armor, when he dies, the sword and armor disappear, and all he's got left is 50 gp.
      • Or that even though this guy his hacking on you with this monster sword, wearing sweet armor, when he dies, the sword and armor disappear, and all he's got left is 50 gp.

        I always explained that away by the fact that you just slaughtered the guy, and thus, because you obviously had no trouble killing him, his armor and weapon were broken during the squable. I mean, if you can completely maul and otherwise mutilate the guy inside the armor, wouldn't you have had to go through his armor, too, wrecking it
    • I thought the most famous cliche was the lone troll in a 10x10 room guarding a chest.
      • I thought the most famous cliche was the lone troll in a 10x10 room guarding a chest.

        That's a Slashdot cliche. And that's not a chest he's guarding.

  • This had better be good (Score:5, Insightful)

    by vga_init ( 589198 ) on Sunday February 15, 2004 @08:10PM (#8289971) Journal
    I remember playing some of the old Bard's Tale games back in the day, and for the time those games were quite awesome. I have a feeling that a lot of fans are going to be put off if this game does not live up to the series.
    • I remember playing some of the old Bard's Tale games back in the day, and for the time those games were quite awesome. I have a feeling that a lot of fans are going to be put off if this game does not live up to the series. Those games were great at the time, however games have made a lot of progress since, and that's not just in the graphics department. Back then games were hard, really hard, if you didn't know that to progress you needed to order wine in the bar so you could go to the cellar and enter a
      • To play the bard's tale games you needed a lot of time, make lots of notes and draw your own maps, or else you'd get hopelessly lost.

        Hint: several people who are saying "these games were quite awesome" actually LIKED the fact that you had to take notes and draw maps. At one point RPGs were difficult, not fairly linear "talk to people, followed by turn based 'Fight, Magic, Item, Run' choices and then a cutscene". The same people who were playing (and writing) them had several three ring binders full of

    • I'm hoping for the four groups of 99 berzerkers. Hehe.

  • Worried about the engine... (Score:4, Interesting)

    by JackBuckley ( 696547 ) on Sunday February 15, 2004 @08:13PM (#8289988) Homepage
    It sounds like it could be fun (some of my favorite things about Planescape:Torment were the in-jokes on rpg'ing and old Advanced D&D), but I don't know how the console engine will port to the PC. I think I'll be reading the reviews for a while on this one before I pick it up...

  • There are lots of RPG Cliches (Score:5, Funny)

    by DarkFencer ( 260473 ) on Sunday February 15, 2004 @08:23PM (#8290024)
    I will not consider this game a True success until it covers at least 100 of the RPG Cliches!

    The 'every 14 year old is the chosen one' is a classic one though.

    Grand List of Console RPG Cliches [project-apollo.net]
    • Although that list is very amusing, (and uncannily accurate) many of the console RPG Cliches don't carry through to the traditional PC RPGs like Bards Tale and the Goldbox D&D games.

      So don't keep your hopes up about them poking at most of these cliches.

      • Because of the parody elements, I think I might actually like this Bard's Tale game (it's true, I can't stand PC-style RPGs :P).

        I love that console RPG list and am hoping that someday a game developer might do it justice. The closest thing I've seen to a CRPG that pokes fun at a lot of the genre's conventions is the PS2 game Okage: Shadow King. It's a pretty funny game, but at the same time, it falls prey to some of these very same conventions.

  • Something not new? (Score:3, Informative)

    by dacarr ( 562277 ) on Sunday February 15, 2004 @08:25PM (#8290032) Homepage Journal
    Something poking fun at RPGs? Would this then make it the Excel Saga of VRPGs?

  • Something missing (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Andy Smith ( 55346 ) on Sunday February 15, 2004 @09:10PM (#8290269)
    part Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance, part Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, and part Curb Your Enthusiasm
    So no Bard's Tale then?

  • Don't lose sight of it.. (Score:5, Informative)

    by tprime ( 673835 ) on Sunday February 15, 2004 @09:31PM (#8290400)
    Don't lose sight of the fact that the company that is developing this game, inXile, was founded and is headed up by Bryan Fargo (or is it Faran Brygo) the same person who made the original Bard's Tale games. He is also responsible for Wasteland and the beginning of the Fallout universe. Yes, I know this is the same type of isometric ActionRPG game that has become tired lately, but because of his gaming track record and his uncompromising desire, (he quit his earlier company, Interplay, because he didn't like the direction it was going) I am willing to give him a chance.

    However, if you are looking for a classic Bard's Tale game, check out "Devil Whiskey" (www.devilwhiskey.com)

    • WASTELAND!!! (Score:3, Interesting)

      by Artifex ( 18308 )
      Okay, I'm going to put this on my list of titles to think about actually getting, now. I actually enjoyed Wasteland more than than the Fallout series, to the utter detriment of my education one semester, but certainly, if he's head of this company, I'm interested in what he's got coming out.

  • Fallout humor (Score:5, Insightful)

    by mwheeler01 ( 625017 ) <matthew@l@wheeler.gmail@com> on Sunday February 15, 2004 @09:57PM (#8290547)
    I wonder if the humor will be anything like the humor in Fallout or a little more in your face. I liked Fallout's humor becuase it was a little subdued and for the most part kind of dark. If they try to take the humor too far I fear the game may be difficult to stomach.

  • Check out the website - Hilarious (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Master_Flash ( 512815 ) on Sunday February 15, 2004 @10:43PM (#8290786) Homepage
    Keep it over the wench for a while and see what happens

  • A better preview at IGN (Score:4, Informative)

    by Gulthek ( 12570 ) on Sunday February 15, 2004 @11:00PM (#8290857) Homepage Journal
    The New Bard's Tale [ign.com]
  • It's like a morbid version of the Oompa Loompas from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. (emphasis mine)

  • BG:DA engine on a PC? (Score:4, Funny)

    by Anthony Boyd ( 242971 ) on Monday February 16, 2004 @01:13AM (#8291551) Homepage

    The article is a lot more reasonable than the slashdot quote. It doesn't really sound like a ripoff of BG:DA/KOTOR, although it is using the same engine as BG:DA. But that's the thing that bugs me. The Baldur's Gate engine, which looks really beautiful on TV, apparently is crap on the PC. Look at the screenshots that go with the article. The main character stands in a forest of what? Green vomit? Horribly pixellated tiles? That engine needs some TLC, or the tilesets do.

    • 1) It's immediately identifiable as a forest to me.
      2) The game isn't due for at least six months (probably more like nine).
      3) It's a 640x448, 39.44KB JPEG - not exactly high-fidelity. One could get a better capture from a 1-megapixel digital camera aimed at the monitor.

  • What a terrible article... (Score:5, Funny)

    by Romothecus ( 553103 ) on Monday February 16, 2004 @02:37AM (#8291890)

    "Like Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, you'll have a certain amount of choice in The Bard's Tale. However, your paths won't be those of good and evil, but rather...good and wiseass."

    So basically, good or good? What a fucking wonderful set of choices.

    "There are also some clever twists, like levels that use floating platforms"

    Holy shit, since when are FLOATING PLATFORMS a "clever twist?" I had my share of floating platforms after Super Mario 2.

    "As you discover new weapons, you won't have to wait to go back to town to trade them in. If it's worse than your current weapon then you'll automatically get its value in gold. If it's better than your weapon then your old one will be converted to gold and you'll wield your new arm."

    AWESOME, YOU DON'T EVEN GET TO CHOOSE WHAT WEAPONS YOU EQUIP? I love it when my "RPGs" get reduced to math exercises in max/min-ing, so it's even better if the game does it for me.

  • Poking fun (Score:5, Informative)

    by CelticWhisper ( 601755 ) <celticwhisper@NOspam.gmail.com> on Monday February 16, 2004 @03:32AM (#8292084)
    So we have a game version of RPG World [rpgworldcomic.com] now? Good stuff.

  • how about... (Score:3, Interesting)

    by August_zero ( 654282 ) on Monday February 16, 2004 @11:04AM (#8294288)
    Parody is good. There are things about this game that worry me and I fear that the mechanics may be getting too dumbed down, but it could be entertaining.

    Too bad nobody is making a Discworld rpg though. I wasn't a big fan of the two Discworld adventure games from a couple years back (adventure games and me don't mix) but I think that Pratchett's universe would be ripe for a game or two.

  • Curb Your Enthusiasm? (Score:3, Funny)

    by Larry David ( 738420 ) on Tuesday February 17, 2004 @02:51AM (#8302583)
    Why didn't I hear of this, I should be calling my lawyers right now!
  • I remember playing two Bard's Tales (I think one and three), and while I enjoyed the games up to a point, I'll be completely honest and say the ... what's the phrase I want... well, compare the arseness of dungeoning in the Final Fantasy series (as a common reference point). The earlier in the series, the more you could lose - I think I once lost a 3 or 4 hour session because there simply were no save points *in* dungeons. Yeah. Go back to Final Fantasy 1, and it was still a more forgiving experience than I

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