When The Other Woman Is An Xbox 163
MTV's Game News service has a report on a an anti-gaming college club started by a group of disgruntled gamer SOs. From the article: "Jaci and Jake, who both attend Kansas State University, are a modern couple dealing with a modern issue. One of them is a gamer; the other is not. Theirs is not an unusual plight. For decades gamers and non-gamers in love have struggled to find harmony. At Kansas State the frustration is rampant. Like most college campuses, it is a place where the release of Halo 2 last year was the best of times and the worst of times. And while there is such a thing as couples in which both people are into games -- and while there are sometimes boyfriends who are the non-gamers -- the most frequent complaint involves game-crazy guys leaving their girlfriends out in the Xbox-free cold."
This is why... (Score:4, Interesting)
Meeting a gamer wasn't something I was specifically looking for but it's worked out great.
Re:This is why... (Score:5, Interesting)
To get a person who isn't into games to play Halo 2 you'd first have to give a lecture on how the controller works, after that you'd have to spend a year teaching them about how to strafe kill an opponent (and what not) just so that they wouldn't die all the time.
I can't wait for the revolution controller so I can have conversations like:
"What do I do?"
"When you see a fly just wack it, it's not that hard"
"What do you mean wack it?"
"You take your controller and wack it! it's just not that hard"
"You mean like this" - She gestures with the controller
"Exactly!"
"cool"
Re:This is why... (Score:3, Funny)
It's a joke, right? (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:It's a joke, right? (Score:5, Funny)
What is this? Isn't the point of dating trying to find someone you can spend the rest of your life with? So when you find someone who spends all their time playing video games and doesn't seem to be as interested in you as those games, what do you do? Dump them because that's not what you are looking for?
NO!
You start a support group, of course! That way you can complain about him, and stay with him! Then you can marry him and continue to yell at him for doing the same thing he did when you were dating. This is pure genius.
So many people seem to be such idiots these days in these things. If you don't like the guy's personality, DUMP THE GUY.
Re:It's a joke, right? (Score:2)
Re:It's a joke, right? (Score:2)
Re:It's a joke, right? (Score:2)
Hint: the gamer who ignores you sometimes is a better option. Maybe not the best, for you, but it's not as simple as you make it out to
Re:It's a joke, right? (Score:2)
Re:It's a joke, right? (Score:4, Interesting)
Re:It's a joke, right? (Score:2)
You do get that in a relationship BOTH people need to contribute. If one party is so self-centred as to spend all their time on their own hobby and not spend any time thinking about/spending time with the other person, why the heck are they in a relationship in the first place? This applies to guys and gals.
If it's not, the non-gaming SOs should just take it as a hint that they need to move on. It's not their responsibility to force their gaming SOs to pay attention to them.
No one in a realtionship shou
What the deuce!? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:What the deuce!? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:What the deuce!? (Score:3, Funny)
No, but they are multiplayer-capable, up to three (3) players are supported. More is possible but not recommended.
All Very Sad (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:All Very Sad (Score:2)
Xbox submarine (Score:2)
Is this really news? (Score:5, Insightful)
Well this is one short-sighted article. Throughout time, there has always been a common issue at the heart of MANY failed relationships - the idea that one of them isn't getting enough attention from the other. As time goes by, ex-significant-others keep finding new things to blame the failure of their relationships on. (Because of course it can't be THEIR fault!) Halo 2 is just the latest scapegoat.
But let's be honest here - if she (or he) truly is more interesting than Halo 2, then Halo 2 will lose. Look, if they are more interested in playing games than spending time with you, take the hint and move on! And gamers, if your S.O. is constantly whining about your game time, then perhaps you should just dump 'em and find a partner more appropriate for your game-intensive lifestyle. After all, isn't that what dating is all about?!?
Re:Is this really news? (Score:5, Interesting)
It seems that in the mind of many a women, you should be able to remain successful, productive, bring in an impressive income, receive promotions, buy a nice house, car, vacations, raise children and all the other things that women you may hook up with, date, or even marry would want out of a guy and would want to be able to brag to their family and friends about . . . while not actually focusing yourself on your work.
You should make time for the other person, certainly, but chicks need to understand that you only got where you are through hard work and that all the things of yours which she enjoys came at a price. Both monitarily and in personal sacrifices of various kinds.
If you can't respect the fact that, as a man, work and career and achievment are a very large part of my existance and want me to sabotage that to spend even more time with you at, say, the risk of you hooking up with some unemployed loser or the pool boy who don't have the responsibilities and can give you the time while I give you the money and house and nice cars and fancy dinners, then you might as well step-off from the get-go.
So how does the XBOX (or cars or any other hobby) fit into this? Because when you work hard, you need to relax, too. You need time alone to decompress and enjoy yourself and being suffocated by another human being every free second you have is not always the most relaxing thing. Likewise, your mate needs to understand that fact in addition to the "I have a career" fact.
If she can't, it's time to start looking for a better breed of women and start thinking with your head when you choose the next one.
Re:Is this really news? (Score:2)
Re:Is this really news? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Is this really news? (Score:2)
Re:Is this really news? (Score:2)
Yeah, it's all fun!
Re:Is this really news? (Score:2)
Yeah, that pretty much sums it up for me too - she's a bigger fan of playing on our favorite MUD or working through traditional PC RPGs like Baldur's Gate vs. console games, but still likes to sit and watch me play stuff like FFX or Disgaea that tends to have a lot of dialog, cinematics and flashy effects. Katamari Damacy is always a blast too, probably just about the best value I ever got for $20
Re:Is this really news? (Score:3, Interesting)
One or two issues there. Just tiny ones, maybe.
Re:Is this really news? (Score:3, Insightful)
If you can't be around your SO for a long period of time without feeling suffocated, it's you with the problem. Certainly not every second with them is going to be relaxing, but most of your time should be. Your SO should BE your dow
Gaming addicition again? (Score:3, Insightful)
Relationships are all about compromise, so maybe he should cut down on the games and spend more time with her, and maybe she should take a little time to play games with him and show a genuine interest in his hobby.
Just ditching each other over something like this, instead of working through it, is stupid.
Re:Gaming addicition again? (Score:2)
It doesn't matter, whatever it was I'm sure it doesn't apply to me.
Re:Gaming addicition again? (Score:3, Interesting)
If you are married and do not like your husband's video game habits, then you are a fool. If your husband is at home playing computer games, good. He's not out drinking or whoring. He's not gambling away the money he makes. He's not committing crimes. He's not hurting anyone. He's relaxing in a safe manner.
Instead of watching football or baseball, he's p
Re:Gaming addicition again? (Score:2)
Re:Gaming addicition again? (Score:2)
If you are married and do not like your husband's video game habits, then you are a fool. If your husband is at home playing computer games, good. He's not out drinking or whoring. He's not gambling away the money he makes. He's not committing crimes. He's not hurting anyone. He's relaxing in a safe manner.
Unfortunately, he's not working either...
Re:Gaming addicition again? (Score:2)
Re:Gaming addicition again? (Score:2)
Football widows (Score:2)
Purchased (Score:2)
I want the 5 Google stories per day back.
Is there an appropriate term for what's now happening?
This is just an extension of woo-hoo! morons (many of them likely paid rent-a-crowd types) lining up to be seen, well, lining up. But on TV. Maybe. If they woo-hoo! loud enough.
In a couple of weeks there'll probably be stories of single, defenceless women fending off attackers by swinging an XBox 360 and cute babies found in flooded basements clutching an empty XBox container.
family guy quote (Score:4, Funny)
And her name is Sony
Seems overblown (Score:2)
On the same vein of thinking, I can't possibly imagine that a gamer, finding themselves in a situation where they actually had a girlfriend, would let anything screw that up, up to and including getting their gaming in. I would think one would be able to balence the two, assuming of course the
Re:Seems overblown (Score:2)
I've seen it happen, but I've never understood it. Some girl decides to be girlfriend toa a gamer, for no apparent reason. Lord only knows why. Gamer is happy to ha
Re:Seems overblown (Score:4, Insightful)
Women view men for thier potential, and would like to change them. This is actually fairly well known. When a couple meets, men want women to stay the same way forever. (Young, beautiful, spirited, funny, etc.) Women are looking for the man to be responsible, caring, considerate, etc. etc. When you see some girl with a disgusting guy who burps, farts, talks shit, and acts like an imbecile, she doesn't see a future with THAT guy. She sees a future with the guy that she can mold him into.
Also, women are not 'bat-shit insane.' They just see the world completely differently. They value completely different things than men. (This is all generalities of course) They value the emotional far less than the physical. And by emotional, I don't mean that they just want you to sit there and suffer while they talk about their feelings. (Which of course is a start...) They want you to UNDERSTAND what they are talking about. Which of course, you never will.
Even when I think I am beginning to understand my wife, I realize that I only have about 5% of the same emotional awareness she has. But then again, I can kick her ass at any video game. Of course she won't play them...but if she did...I would kick her ass.
Lastly, when you want your wife/girlfriend to think that you understand what is going on...follow Chris Rock's advice: everyone once in a while, throw in, "I KNEW you couldn't trust that bitch/ho/girl (depending on your social status)" Because there is a damn good chance they are complaining about some other woman somewhere.
Really...next time she goes on a tirade, try it. Just throw that in. "I never trusted her. What is her problem?" Man...you'll score some huge points, even if you have no idea who the hell she was talking about.
But I have to give my wife credit. Every month or so she'll spend about 20 minutes playing a game...which isn't too bad. And she has to listen to me talk about them, and is able to repeat back what I've said. Maybe she has her stock answers too, I don't know. But she does know the names of the games I play...and the types of games I play. (FPS, Driving, Sports) and she even knows what I DON'T play (WoW, RPGs, etc.) So yes, I'm impressed.
Last thing...
Don't forget your anniversary, her birthday, or any other times that SHE looks bad if you forget. Because remember guys...you might look like an ass for forgetting your anniversary...but to other women, she looks even worse. Because what you do, reflects on her.
With that many trite generalities... (Score:2)
[the following is said with no intention to offend the parent poster, but...]
"Also, women are not 'bat-shit insane.' They just see the world completely differently.... They want you to UNDERSTAND what they are talking about. Which of course, you never will."
Is this seriously how people see the world? If anyone is actually reading this Hallmark card, guys-and-girls-are-so-different, Venus/Mars stu
Re:With that many trite generalities... (Score:2)
Um... Cause that would make us women.
Re:Seems overblown (Score:2)
You know, one might consider disconnection from reality to be a symptom of "bat-shit insane."
Re:Seems overblown (Score:2)
Re:Seems overblown (Score:3, Insightful)
For a semi-specific reply to the parent, couple of points:
- explaining emotional state to SO: Thumbs up for that one. NEEDS to happen. See below.
Re:Seems overblown (Score:2)
Please give seminars for other women. They need it. You sound like someone with her head put on right; I'm happily married but I've experienced/witnessed a lot of what you're talking about, and I've rarely heard it said so well. Lucky guy you have there
-chris
How? (Score:3, Insightful)
I see too many middle age geeky guys these days who want to do geeky stuff but their wives wont let them. I shit you not, some guy had to watch anime in secret because his wife would have thrown out the DVDs if she saw them.
What kind of relationship is that?
Sure, in some cases guys are just paying way too much attention to other stuff and not the girls. You can't do that, you've gotta give some time. But also remember, girls can't expect to be the only thing that gets attention from the guy. There are other things in his life besides you and there should be other things in your life besides him. Goes both ways.
In short. Everybody get a life and don't be with incompatible people.
Re:How? (Score:3, Insightful)
The kind where a man puts he thing in the womans thing one night and hopes she doesn't call him the next day?
Seriously, people need to learn sex and love are two different things.
Just because you have found someone that will have sex with you doesn't mean they make a good husband/wife.
True love is when you found someone who you emotionally bond with and make passionate love to, but if you never could have sex with each other for the rest of your life, you'd still want to ha
Re:How? (Score:2)
If that's been your experience so far, I pity you, I really do. Not to sound overly dramatic, but it can be so much deeper than that, and you really have no idea what you're missing.
Re:How? (Score:2)
Re:How? (Score:2)
Re:How? (Score:2)
I raise you bull and call the shit.
No one... I mean no one has to settle for anyone. Unless you live in India, Pakistan, or some other nation where they have arranged your marriage at birth, no one forces you to marry anyone.
If you don't find that person, maybe you sho
Re:How? (Score:3, Insightful)
"How can you go out with someone who has interests so different from your own?"
So long as we're just talking "interests," it shouldn't matter too much. Though I have precious little experience, I think the important part is how the personalities mesh, and the only really important shared interest is an interest in each other.
"I shit you not, some guy had to watch anime in secret because his wife would have thrown out the DVDs if she saw them."
See, this isn't
Re:How? (Score:1)
Re:How? (Score:1)
Huh?!
You pick someone because they're attractive, arouse you and (on a biological level) have the attributes our species find's preferable in producing offspring. The girl I want to hook up with doesn't have to go bowling or playing videogames with me anymore than the guy friends I go bowling with or play videogames with have to come over and blow me.
Why do you have to find someone that likes everything you like, does everything y
Re:How? (Score:2)
Re:How? (Score:2)
However, many of them go into club work, trail maintaince or other related activities.
Re:How? (Score:2)
Re:How? (Score:2)
How can you go out with someone who has interests so different from your own?
You must have little experience in this area, then. Things would get boring pretty quick, because if your not being called out to do something different than your normal, then how much fun will the relationship be?
Six years ago, I was into computer games and such. Six years later, I hardly play at all
Re:How? (Score:2)
You seem to be my kind of crazy.
If you goto the University of Flordia, stop by Momo's and as for <secretcodename>von Klizzel.</secretcodename>
My own thoughts (Score:5, Insightful)
The best test of this is to try to interrupt the gamer by offering Sex. In most cases, offering to play with his joystick should get him to put down the other joystick. If they turn you down, then one of two things are happening.
1) Your hideous, deal with it.
2) They are screwed in the head.
Men have ditched or ignored their women for many reasons. I am sure that there are intstances of guys watching the latest hockey / football / basketball game and ignoring their women for the duration. The only difference with gaming is that gaming can be done at any time.
END COMMUNICATION
Re:My own thoughts (Score:3, Interesting)
Maybe when you're 15 and it's still amazing that you're having sex, but I'm 30. I've had all kinds of sex. I've been married and divorced. I've had several girlfriends over the years.
When I'm having a good run at CS and I have an 80/23 kill/death ratio, I'd rather keep playing for a while. Sex is something you can have anytime, a good gaming session needs to be enjoyed when it happens.
LK
Re:My own thoughts (Score:2)
Re:My own thoughts (Score:2)
I have a girlfriend. She's the only one I'm having sex with. Make no mistake about it, it's fantastic. If it'll be fantastic now, it'll be fantastic an in hour too.
LK
Re:My own thoughts (Score:2)
Pay attention, you young whippersnappers! This is either deep wisdom, hard-won through age... or the early onset of senility.
Re:My own thoughts (Score:2)
If you knew my ex-wife, you'd understand.
LK
Re:My own thoughts (Score:2)
Re:My own thoughts (Score:3, Interesting)
Because as another poster says down below...when you are older (I'm 37) sex isn't some sort of mind-blowing, my whole reality is changing kind of thing.
Don't get me wrong...my wife and I do have some very good sex. But like most couples, we also have our share of quickies, and relatively inconsequential sex. The type of thing you do just to blow of steam or whatever.
So, we've had sex while I played a game.
It was fun.
Sex should be fun.
Re: (Score:2)
I'll tell you why... (Score:2)
Re:I'll tell you why... (Score:2)
1) People use to get married much younger, and many of those couples managed to stay together because they wanted to not because they had to.
2) If a woman wants kids she better start having them by the time she's 35. Assuming sexual maturity at 15, financial/legal maturity at 18, and emmotional maturity in your early 20s, she's got something like a 15 year window to have kids during if she doesn't want to deal with deformities etc. Guys have slightly long
Attention: people of the world (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Attention: people of the world (Score:3, Insightful)
It's one thing if your SO can't stand the fact that you have a hobby. But it's perfectly reasonable for her to expect that you'll put a lot of time and energy into the relationship.
What? (Score:2, Insightful)
How 'bout the other shoe? (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:How 'bout the other shoe? (Score:2)
The trick is moderation. You have things you like, the SO has things she likes, and there are things you both like. Spend time on all three. You don't have to be together ALL THE TIME.
Re:How 'bout the other shoe? (Score:2)
Did she bring back chips?
[still playing same game when she left]
All too easy (Score:3, Funny)
"Jaci" and "Jake," hm? Guess which is the gamer!
"Theirs is not an unusual plight."
Around here it is. Actual dating?
"For decades gamers and non-gamers in love have struggled to find harmony."
Which decades, exactly? I'm pretty sure "gamer" = "single."
"At Kansas State the frustration is rampant."
What, the gamer guys have started to give themselves tennis elbow?
"Like most college campuses, it is a place where the release of Halo 2 last year was the best of times and the worst of times."
"The best of times?" Last I heard, it was a collective "What, that's it?"
"And while there is such a thing as couples in which both people are into games"
Yes, but are they both into video games?
"-- and while there are sometimes boyfriends who are the non-gamers --"
Where, San Francisco?
"the most frequent complaint involves game-crazy guys leaving their girlfriends out in the Xbox-free cold."
This confuses me. In order to leave one's girlfriend out in the cold, one must have a girlfriend to begin with.
I am so in (Score:5, Funny)
Ultimately it sounds like these gamers are going to fail to pass along their genes, thus solving the problem.
Re:I am so in (Score:2)
Wrong problem. (Score:1)
If you're in college, why are you involved in a relationship that is so serious that your hobbies and recreational activities play any part in anything? Dude, it's college. You shouldn't even have just *one* "significant other".
What the hell happened to having fun and getting to know yourself in highschool and college and saving settling down and getting serious for around 30+?
Sad. The "XBOX problem" is the least of their worries. The XBOX may be more interesting to
Re:Wrong problem. (Score:2)
I've been in a relationship with my now-wife for 10 years. I'm 30.
I wouldn't trade that experience for the WORLD. Now, I can understand how you may think that your view of a lifestyle would have been more fun for me, but I have to tell you - I truly don't see it that way. I'd have to say there are probably people in similar situations who woul
Re:Wrong problem. (Score:2)
I really don't think people tend to care about such things...
"new" (Score:2, Interesting)
Let me clear my throat. (Score:1)
And how is this newsworthy; it's the same thing as has always existed except the 'male obsession' in this article is xbox, as opposed to watching sports on tv, or having poker night with the guys.
The only good thing about this is that if they want to start up an anti gaming coalition, at least that way (instead of nagging us) they'll have something to do while we play games.
Um, right... (Score:2)
What kind of shallow nonsense is it to have relationship problems just because your significant other has engrossing hobbies or other things that they are dedicated to? Part of why I want a girl to like me is because I do enjoy spending hours programming, playing musical instruments, reading, and even enjoying video games. It gives me more depth and character (not to mention things to talk about when I am spending time with her), and it speaks poorly of a partner's character if they demand a full monopoly
Not me.. (Score:4, Funny)
*pick up*
Me: "HELLO?!"
Gf: "Hey what are ya-"
ME: "BUSY! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!!"
Gf: "Uhh I dunno I just wa-"
ME: "CANT TALK! BYE!"
*click*
I've never had to deal with her complaining about my game playin. She understands that when I say I'm busy then I'm busy and should not and cannot be bothered. Thats what the rest of these pie-making laundry-cleaning women should realize.
Re:Not me.. (Score:2)
Seriously, you don't need to let every phone call drag you away from the console and into a heartfealt conversation about her feelings. But if you're not willing to sacrifice your frag count to exchange a few complete sentences, then you're really whacked. Worse, you're going to lose her.
Which is fine. More unattached girls for me.
Re:Not me.. (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
Hmmm (Score:2)
And to answer the inevitable questions: Yes, uphill both ways, during a snowstorm.
ID (Score:5, Funny)
Blame it on intelligent game design.
Console-centrics? (Score:2)
I'd be curious to see a study done comparing the console of choice of a person versus the priority they give the console over their SO. I think a lot of it would have to do with having games that both people can enjoy without having to go too far into the realm of gaming that one person likes but the other doesn't (i.e., she likes the Sims, he likes Halo, they both like Soul Cali
Get pregnant (Score:2)
(/me runs after his 9 month old)
Re:Get pregnant (Score:2)
(/me runs after his 9 month old)
Heh, just wait until he (she?) gets old enough to operate the keyboard properly
Watch out l
Re:Get pregnant (Score:2)
Xbox (Score:3, Funny)
Baby, Gonna make you happy tonight.
Gonna make you happy tonight, Oh, sugar.
Give my love to you, Oh baby.
Gonna make you feel so right.
Gonna make you, make you happy,
Oooh, sugar. Yeah!
Spend some time with you,
Do the things you want me to.
Gonna make some sweet, sweet love, sugar.
So get ready,
Oooh, get ready, get ready.
Get ready for lovin', Tonight.
Before we get down to love,
Before we get down...
You see, I got a high score tonight.
And I just want to save my game.
Well, I'll be with you in a minute,
Sweet darling, baby, honey.
I love how you dance for me.
Oooh, la la la la la la la la...
Could you move a little to the left, baby?
I can't see the TV.
Baby, I can't want 'till we start,
It's just that the save points are quite far apart,
In this game, baby.
Oooh, la la la la la la la...
This bit's got a multi-player section, honey,
Maybe you can operate a turret with me.
Would you like that, baby?
Games give you hand-eye co-ordination,
And spacial intelligence, together with...
Turn the lights down low...
Turn the lights down, just a little bit lower, baby.
Turn the lights down low...
Turn the lights down low...
Turn the lights down low...
It's just that it helps me feel like I'm in a spaceship.
Take your time, no hurry.
It's just that I'm not tired. Are you tired?
I'll see you in the bed, then.
You might want to take a book.
You know I can't stop thinking about you, baby.
And all of the magic coins that I need to collect.
See, I just gotta find one more point of armour class,
And then I can take on the robots of Zirgon B,
And then we can make love...
I think this X-Box, Is the best present I ever bought for you, Baby!
Re:So true... (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:So true... (Score:2)
Try a little bit of introspection and seek a little bit of insight. I'll give you a hint: normal couples don't fight -- even if your parents did. Hitting walls or breaking glasses is not normal, healthy behavior -- even if your parents did.
Re:So true... (Score:2)
Or are you just the kind of person who does exaclty as you're told
So in your understanding a relationship consists of doing what you're told or you have to get in a fight? And somehow hitting walls fact
Re:One is a gamer... the other is not. (Score:3, Insightful)
You've got to have time together, and you've got to have some time to yourself.